Why?
by inulover411
Summary: Something terrible happens to Tohru! And it changes everything. Rated M just in case!
1. The Beginning

**Title**: Why?

**Author**: inulover411

**Story summary**: Something terrible happens to Tohru, and it changes everything

**Chapter 1**

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, its characters, the story, etc.

Author's Note: SO yeah…enjoy? Hopefully?

Two years…

It's been two whole years since I've come to live with Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo Sohma. In that time I've come to meet most of the Sohmas, and I've learned, gradually, about their curse…and about Akito, the head of the Sohma household and, for all intensive purposes, their 'God.'

I've made so many new memories during these last two years, and so many new good friends. The Sohmas are all so nice, despite their underlying problems and difficulties…and yet they all have their secrets; their deep, dark skeletons that they all try and keep locked away inside.

But, despite all that, I know that I will never regret meeting any of them.

Especially Kyo…My heart flutters like a butterfly just at the thought of his name. I stare out the window, past my reflected, blushing face, to the street. The lamps are coming on. They always seem to sparkle brightest when they are first lit, and the light reminds me of his eyes…of Kyo's eyes. I chuckle, thinking back to his excitement over subjects like martial arts. He would always get so worked up, and he'd talk endlessly like a child, his voice livid with an intense exhilaration. That's the Kyo I liked the most…the one that didn't hide...the true Kyo.

"Honda! Get to work!"

"Eek! I'm sorry sir!" I startle at the sound of my boss's voice and hurriedly return to mopping the floors. This job sure may be tedious sometimes, but I don't mind at all.

'I wonder what the boys had for dinner tonight…' I think to myself as I mop. 'I probably should've made them something like miso…Kyo likes that a lot.' It has been so long since I've moved in that I already remember everyone's favorite foods by hearts! Yuki and Shigure aren't very picky eaters, but Kyo…he always did hate leeks…

I shake my head persistently as my face turns bright red. Blood rushes to my cheeks as I think of Kyo's face…of those intense orange eyes…of that messy head of orange hair that looks like fire...and of the crooked smile of his that—

No! I have to get back to work! I return to mopping at a heated pace, frantically tying to keep my mind off a certain someone…

Why won't he ever go away? Kyo is always there, his voice echoing in my head over and over again…I close my eyes at night and I dream of him. When we are in the same room together, I find myself laughing and smiling even more than I usually do. Whenever we're together I'm always happy…

Is this what love is? I pause, pressing a hand to my chest. I feel my heart racing as I think of him. Kyo…could he ever feel the same way I do? Can he see what he does to me? Can he tell that his very presence takes my breath away? Can he hear my heart jumping erratically in my chest every time he accidentally brushes my hand? Does he ever…

I frown, pulling my hand away. A wave of terrible sadness washes over me.

No. No he couldn't. He could never possibly feel the same way about me as I do about him…I'm just being…disillusioned. Unrealistic. Stupid.

I put the mop away and head for the changing rooms. All the other girls have headed home,-it's around 11:30-and I had stayed for the late shift. I had told the boys not to wait for me, and that I would make it home alright. After all, it's not like I'd get in trouble or anything, right?

I hear the soft rumble of thunder through the hotel's walls as I brush out my hair.

Grabbing my school bag and umbrella, I make my way out to the front door, when my boss calls me back.

"Hey Honda, can you run this out real quick?" he asks, motioning behind him to a few bags of trash.

I nod and begin to walk towards them.

"Hey, are you alright?" my boss asks, a worried look coming over his face. I blink in confusion. "You look like you've been crying, Tohru."

"What? Really?" I ask, totally shocked…I hadn't even noticed that tears had been falling down my face. Embarrassed, I brush past him and grab the trash, putting on what I hoped was a smile. "Don't worry, sir, everything's alright!"

"Well…alright then, see you Monday, Honda," he calls, waving me away and heading back to the front desk. Shouldering the heavy bags, I made my way out the back door and into the alley. Chucking them haphazardly into the dumpster I lean against the brick wall in dismay.

Here I was, crying over him! Crying over Kyo…the boy that I…loved…over a love that could never be returned.

BOOM! I yelp at the loud clap of thunder overhead and I drop my bag and umbrella in shock. It begins to sprinkle.

A small smile played on my lips as I stared up into the sky. I close my eyes, letting raindrops hit my face. Kyo always did hate the rain…

No! Again! The heat rushes to my face once again and I quickly turn to the brick wall. The rain cascades around me softly and tears begin to fall from my eyes. Oh Kyo…my breath catches as I think again of his face…that same wave of pain washes over me and more tears trickle down my face. Kyo…how can you be so blind? Why can't you see? Why can't you see that…that I…that I love you?

I sob softly, resting my head against the wall. This is silly…just ridiculous! I can't feel this way! I shouldn't!

_"You suck,"_ his voice echoes again and I remember back to that starry night up on the roof during Kagura's visit. I see his crooked smile and I cry out.

I love you, Kyo…I love you so much that it hurts…

And I want you to love me, too…

"Hey there, sweetie," I jump, startled. Wasn't I just alone in this alley? I look to my right, further down the alley. There, shadowed in the dark, stood a tall figure.

Trying to regain my composure, I turned to him, hoping that he couldn't see my tears. "Oh, um, excuse me sir. Can I help you?" I asked politely. Perhaps he was a customer who had tried to get into the hotel the wrong way? He stood there, motionless and silent, as I waited for his reply. "The door is on the other side, sir. There's no way to get in from back here." Still no answer.

My spine began to tingle. Something felt wrong…

"Um, excuse me-"

"Actually, I think you can help me," he interrupted. The low, slow sound of his voice had me quivering in fear. But why?

"Okay sir, what do you need?" I asked, quickly reaching up and wiping my face free of stray tears. It bothered me somewhat that I still couldn't see his face.

'…_there are a lot of weirdo's around here,'_ I remembered Shigure saying long, long ago. No, no, that's just me being paranoid. I smile and walk after the man as he heads further down into the alley, beckoning me to follow. This man just needed some help is all. Yes, that was it.

"I'm actually having car trouble," he said, chuckling a little bit.

"Okay, I'll help you out however I can," I answer. We turned into the back side of the building, and were completely shrouded in darkness, with only a far-off street lamp as a dim source of light. I could hardly see where I was walking when suddenly the man stopped.

"Sir?" I asked, unsure.

"You know what sweetie?" That name really worried me…Something inside me was screaming…something was telling me to run.

"Huh?"

"You're cute," I opened my mouth to answer when the man quickly rushed me. In the darkness, I lost him as he attacked me. Before I could even begin to react, the man had me pinned to the brick wall, his arms like chains holding both my hands high above my head.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" I asked, hearing the fear in my own voice. I could feel the blood coursing through my veins at a frenzied speed; and I could hear my heart racing, its beat echoing through my head.

"You're cute," the man repeated, his voice sending shivers up my spine. "And so innocent, too…" he held both my hands in one of his and trailed his other hand down to my face.

Even with the far off lamp I still couldn't see his face.

He chuckled. His fingertips brushed my cheek and I tried to squirm away.

"Don't. Do. That." the man snarled, his tone menacing and sharp. He gripped me harder, making me wince. My body was screaming, burning with adrenaline, and with the need to run and escape from this man. "Now then, let's continue," he whispered. His large, heavy fingers traced my jaw and touched briefly upon my shaking lips.

"S-s-stop! Stop this, please!" I shouted, terrified. "Please, I-!"

SLAP! I fell silent at once, my face still stinging from his palm.

"Shut up! You stupid freaking bitch you better shut the hell up…"he threatened.

"Please…please…just take what you want and go…"I mumbled. He chuckled in response, ignoring me. He was leaning in, inhaling my scent. My whole body was shaking as his nose trailed up my neck. His ragged breathing caused tears to prick and fall from my eyes.

He laughed in a sinister way.

"You're mine now, cutie."


	2. The Report and Worries

**Chapter 2**—The Report and Worries

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fruits Basket

Author's Note: I apologize; for Kyo's a little out of character in this chapter…but hopefully Shigure will make you laugh…I know that I could hardly contain myself when I originally wrote his lines. LOL Enjoy?

Two years…

It's been two years since she's come to live with us—and since she's changed our lives forever.

"Dammit I am so freaking HUNGRY…" I say loudly, my eye twitching in ignorance as my stomach growls like an angry bear.

"Just be patient, Kyo. Patience IS a virtue after all!" Shigure answered, a little too cheery after his last glass of sake.

"Yeah, yeah…why don't we just eat already? I mean we ordered all this stuff for god sake!" I reply. Stupid drunk dog, he's always so freaking annoying!

"We are going to wait for Miss Honda. It's the polite thing to do, and it's not fair for her to have to eat all by herself when she gets home from work. Can you at least be quiet and wait? Or have you no patience at all you stupid cat?" Yuki says, crossing his arms on the table and glaring at me. Immediately I feel my anger rising.

"What the hell you stupid rat-!"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Shigure bursts in, wagging his finger at me like a frickin nun or something. "Kyo, you must be patient! Patience is a virtue, and you need as many virtues as you can get, for you are a naughty, naughty boy!"

I jump to my feet, pointing at Shigure as he laughed hysterically at what he thought was a hilarious joke.

"Shut up already you stupid drunk!"

"You're the one who needs to be quiet here." Yuki interrupts, his voice barely audible over Shigure's obnoxious laughter. He's like an annoying little fly in my ear…damn I HATE that guy!

"What, do you want some of this?!" I shout, pulling up the sleeves of my shirt in preparation for a fight. "I wasn't talking to you, you stupid rat!"

"You're the one who's being stupid, here." Yuki answered, his forehead creasing with anger. God he just really pisses me off.

"I'm gunna-"

BOOM!

I jump at the sound of thunder clapping loudly over us, shaking the house with its power.

"Oh hell no…" I start to say. And with that, rain began to fall, with a soft pitter-patter, on the roof. I sunk with a sigh to my futon as all my energy left me.

"My, my! It seems that Kyo-Konichii has gone night-night!" Shigure cheerily chimed in, mocking me as I rested my head on the table.

"Damn you…"I retort with as much energy as I can muster.

"Oh Kyo, you're no fun!" the dog pouts. I frown. Dammit why does EVERYONE in this house try and piss me off all the time! I mean REALLY, between that stupid rat and the drunk, perverted dog it's a miracle that I haven't gone insane!

_"Oh no, wait, please don't fight…"_ I smile. But I guess I have Tohru to thank for my sanity…

"_Right straight!_" I smile against the wood grain of the table, remembering back to that night on the roof. She's so freaking weak…just like a little baby bird…

"Oh! Kyo-kyo, look at that blush! Who are you thinking about you naughty, hormone-raged teenager? Could it be our lovely housewife, Tohru, perhaps?" Shigure asks, interrupting my thoughts. I'm blushing?! Really?!

"Oh just shut UP already!" I shout, throwing my chopsticks across the table at him. I rest my head on the table again, tuning out the dog as he continues on and on like a little kid.

Why the hell am I blushing, anyway? All I did was think of her…

_"Well, what if you just use my umbrella, too! That way you won't have to carry yours?" _I hide my face in the table. Yes, I am blushing. I can feel the blood rushing to my face as I picture her…as I remember Tohru that day.

That was the day…the day that she saw the real me. I bite my lip as the memories bombard me. I remember being so afraid that night…and so lost, too. I had been certain that she couldn't, or wouldn't, ever be able to look at me again…I was so afraid that she would be gone forever…just like my mom.

"_Right now Kyo I'm afraid. I'm afraid of you!"_ But she wasn't. She came after me, even though I'd done nothing but hurt her. I'd done nothing but shown her my true form...the one I didn't want her to see. _"I've been a fool…"_ I remembered watching her, and seeing how scared she was… "

Oh Tohru…How…Why…

Why do you always…tell me what I need to hear the most? How is it that, whenever something goes wrong, I can always count on you?

"_I want us to stay together!" _Tohru…you saved me that night. You were so alone and so scared…and yet you still came after me…you still wrapped your arms around me…you still cared…and you still accepted me.

My heart flutters in my chest as I remembered embracing her by the pond. I had wanted to hold her forever. I wanted…to be held...and to cry…I wanted to be in her arms…and I still do.

It's so strange. Whenever I imagine her, whenever I hear her voice, my heart starts to race. Her laugh, her smile, they bring the heat rushing to my face…and I get so tongue-tied whenever we're together…and whenever I'm with Tohru, I seem to find myself happier than usual. I smile more; I laugh harder…

And even now…half a year after you ran after me in the rain…you still care. You accept us for who we are; instead of labeling us for our curse...You did for me that night what my mom couldn't. You, a girl who I met by chance, saved me.

I wonder…what is this feeling?

Thunder again rumbles overhead.

"It's going to rain all night!" Shigure says sadly. I lift my head, and pull myself from my thoughts. Come on, Kyo, face reality.

There is no way that she could ever feel the same way I do. She couldn't…and she shouldn't…after all, I'm just…the cat.

"You know, it's getting late…where's Tohru, I wonder?"

I sit up straight, looking over at the clock. Midnight?!

"Yeah, you're right…"I answer.

"Wasn't she supposed to be home by now?" Shigure asks, straightening his robe/kimono as he flipped through the TV channels.

"She said she got off around 11:30…so…"Yuki starts to reply.

"Well! It's not nice for two strapping young men to let such a beautiful, delicate flower walk home all alone! And in the rain, no less! Such atrocities! You two are—"Shigure babbles.

"Shut UP already!" I shout, annoyed.

"I'm going to get her," Yuki interrupts, getting to his feet and grabbing his jacket.

"I-I'm going, too!" I shout back. Dammit, why does that stupid rat always have to steal my glory? I wanted to be the one to find Tohru.

"Awweee…"Shigure chuckles. "Kyo-Kyo is so worried!"

"No I'm not!" I try to hide the blush on my face. I wasn't about to admit it…but I really was worried. But really, how could I not be?! She's so naive and…and….

…And if anything ever happened to Tohru, I—

"This just in!" We all turn to the television as a portly blonde female reporter pops up on the screen. "The body of the young girl, Haruka Nissa, has been found buried outside city limits. She disappeared four days ago while walking home from school. Upon examination, we believe that she had been brutally raped, beaten, and then murdered by way of slit wrists. We have reason to believe that she is yet another victim of the wanted serial rapist. Please, take the necessary precautions until this persecutor is caught. Signing of—"

The boys were all silent as the station's music played and programming switched to late night shows.

"A serial rapist?" Yuki asked, stunned.

"Yes…apparently the same guy has been on the prowl for quite a while…that girl has been the third one reported. The rest of his victims were also found dead…and all with their wrists slit." Shigure explained, surprisingly sober despite his alcoholic intake.

"I think I met that girl once…" I say slowly. "She was younger than us but she said hi to me a few times in the hallway." That girl had always been so nice, and she had such a bubbly personality…and I remembered having not really cared when she said hi to me in the hall, as my attention had been focused on Tohru. It was hard to imagine such a girl abused and dead.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Yuki leaving the house and slamming the paper door behind him.

"Aren't you going?" Shigure asked, flipping off the TV.

I scowl and hurry out the house after Yuki. The rain starts to come down harder, soaking both of us quickly through to the bone. It threatens to sap me of my energy, but I resist. The loud thunder had the hair on the back of my neck standing up straight.

_"Brutally raped, beaten, and murdered…"_ My heart starts to thud loudly in my ears and I break into a jog. The trees creak and groan creepily in the wind, and I pick up speed. I hear Yuki following me. That nagging feeling returns and I hurry…I have to know if she's safe…I had to see my Tohru.

Wait, MY Tohru? God how crazy about her was I?

Surely it's nothing though, right? She was just running late, that's all. Nothing's wrong…I try to reason myself as we hurried through the woods, but for some reason that nagging feeling refused to go away.

_"Right straight!"_

I broke into a full-out run, leaving my rain-caused weakness behind in the dust. My heart pounds in my ears like drums and I feel as if every fiber in my body is alive and on fire.

Yuki follows, and we run together. For once, our rivalry is forgotten.

It was just nothing though, right? There's nothing wrong. We're just overreacting. Everything's okay…she's okay…her voice echoes in my ears and I urge my feet to take me faster.

Tohru…please be okay…Be there.

…Waiting for me…

Be safe.

**END OF CHAPTER 2**

**Author's note**: So yeah…review and what not…you know how! The button is RIGHT there!! PLEASE!

Oh! And Chapter 3 is already in progress, jsyk.


	3. Why?

**Disclaimer**: I do NOT, and nor shall I ever, own Fruits Basket

**Author's Note:** Thanks to artisticsoul2013, FurbaFan10102, kouga's older woman, and FadingNoctis for reviewing! I really appreciate it.

**AN#2** PLEASE READ THIS ONE! I know that there has been some suspicion as to the story's authenticity, in that it is like 'The Unvoiced Plea.' I SWEAR to god that I did not steal any of Warrayfinson 's ideas. Warrayfinson is overall a much better writer than I, and I, having read The Unvoiced Plea very recently, greatly respect the story and its writer. I wrote my story a few months ago and I did not know of The Unvoiced Plea's existence until one of my story's reviews came questioning its authenticity.

To Warrayfinson: I am sorry if you think that I have stolen any aspect of your story. I did not do so.

To those that read and review: I did not take anything from Warrayfinson's story. Plagiarism has happened to me, and I do not ever wish for my story to be mistaken as plagiarism. I'm sorry if it comes across as such, as Warrayfinson and I both have similar ideas.

I will also add that I greatly recommend Warrayfinson's story, 'The Unvoiced Plea,' to all.

Thank you…

And NOW onto the story!!

**Chapter 3-Why?**

"You're mine now, cutie."

I screamed. Something within me erupted at his words, at the situation. I was kicking and crying and yelling out at the man and suddenly I blindly kicked him in the groin. He dropped me roughly to the ground and fell, huddled over in pain. My body ached from my being dropped, but I pushed myself to my feet, adrenaline racing through my veins like wildfire.

I ran.

And fell to the ground with a yelp as the man reached out and grabbed my ankle. Before I could think, before I could even begin to react, he had me flipped on my back and pinned to the ground. I opened my mouth to scream when one of his dirty, calloused hands clapped over my lips.

"You bitch! That hurt!" the man growled angrily, keeping me pinned with his sheer weight. I struggled, tears streaming from my eyes as I lay beneath him on the rough asphalt alley floor. "I was gunna be nice but now you're gunna get it you dirty, stupid little slut…" Keeping me held tightly to the ground, he reached back into one of the many pockets of his trench coat. My heart nearly skipped a beat. As lightning flashed overhead, I could clearly see light reflecting off the blade of a large, rustic looking pocket knife. Ignoring my struggles, he brought the knife to my throat.

"Another word and I'll slit your throat," he threatened menacingly. I knew the danger, but I couldn't stop myself as my body slipped into fits of hysteria. "Goddamnit shut up already!" the man snarled, pressing his knife into my throat. My air was slowly being cut off and my sobs quieted as I gasped for air. "Good girl, that's better now, isn't it?" the man cooed, his acidic voice laced with sarcasm. He removed the knife from my throat.

There was blood along the knife's edge…

"Now if you just do what I say, there won't be any trouble now, girlie…"the man continued, hovering over me in the darkness. He slowly removed his hand from my mouth, allowing me to finally breathe in fresh air.

Without thinking, I screamed

"HELP ME! Please! Someone! HELP!" Thunder clapped overhead and it easily drowned out my voice.

"You little bitch! You're gunna pay!" the man shouted, furious. "Get ready, 'cuz you're gunna be a dead woman when I'm done with you."

He raised his hand high above his head and brought it down, slapping me across the face.

"Stop it! Stop it please!" I shouted as he beat me unmercifully. He grabbed his pocketknife and randomly started cutting me and my clothes. I was weak, powerless to stop him as his slaps turned into punches. I cried out with each hit, and winced at each cut. I was crying loudly, hoping, praying, that someone would hear the commotion.

"Shut up!" the man shrieked, sneering, grabbing me by my arm and twisting it. It snapped with a sickening crunch and I screamed in agony.

I fell silent, holding my now broken arm close to my body.

I silently begged. I begged for the pain to stop. I begged for this all to be a bad dream. His maniacal laughter rang through my ears as he beat me, and I knew that the sound would forever haunt me.

And still it rained, soaking me entirely through my clothes. Lightning flashed overhead and I caught a brief glance of his face. It was permanently imprinted in my mind. That crooked nose, those piercing blue eyes, that grungy, dirty black hair, and that toothy grin…

He saw me looking and punched me upside the head, grunting as he did so. The force of his punch flipped me over onto my side and I lay there, my head reeling, and tasted the blood in my mouth.

He stood up and I began to crawl towards the end of the alley, towards the light, thinking, stupidly, that I had a chance. A chance to escape.

A chance to live.

"And where do you think you're going?" The man shouted, livid. Wrong move, Tohru…He grunted and leaned back, kicking me full on in the stomach. I yelped and curled into a fetal position. He didn't stop.

Blood was trickling from my lips, and my arm ached with pain…my head was reeling, pounding…every part of me was begging, pleading for mercy.

And it finally came. Or so I thought.

Out of breath, the man stopped abusing me momentarily and I looked up at him through hazy, teary eyes. Rain mixed with my tears as they fell down my face. I coughed again, blood spattering on the ground.

He chuckled.

"Now it's time for the real fun…"my brain struggled to comprehend his words. Fun? What did he mean by that? He rolled me over on my back with his shoe.

"You filthy little slut, you belong to me now," he repeated, laughing. He bent over, grabbing me by the arm, and drug me behind the trash dumpster. I was ignorant to the stench as I pulled myself into a sitting position.

And then the man did something that totally shocked me.

He grabbed me by the shoulders, pressing me to the ground and holding me there with his weight.

And he kissed me. Despite the pain, despite the tiredness I felt, my body reacted violently, kicking and screaming against him as his tongue forced its way into my mouth. When finally he stopped I reached out, slapping him across the face with my good hand.

We were both surprised.

And then his wrath returned. He kicked, punched, and cut again while I begged and pleaded for mercy.

I closed my eyes, welcoming the darkness, and slipped into quiet subservience.

"Aweee…." My eyes flung open only to see his face very close to mine. Frightened, I started to scoot back, and away from this terrifying man. "It's not time for sleep, sweetie," he cooed, sending shivers down my spine.

"J-Just t-t-take my m-m-mon-money and g-go," I answered, shakily. I leaned over and coughed up fresh blood. It left a burning, metallic taste in my throat.

He leaned in closer.

"Bitch I don't want your money…"

"Then w-what is it th-that y-you w-"I froze mid sentence, my whole body locking up in fear as the memory of his kiss replayed in my mind.

New tears fell.

"No…please, no…" I looked up at him in terror. "No…"

"Yes."

And with that, he grabbed me again, pushing me down onto the alley's gravel floor, already wet and stained with my blood. I cried, kicking and screaming with as much energy as I could muster. But it did no good.

He was kissing me again, so forcibly that I felt my lips bruising. He lay on top of me, his heavy body keeping mine pinned beneath him.

He hands were grabbing, knotting in my hair, pulling me to him like glue. I pushed, I punched, I kicked, but nothing could stop him. He pulled out his pocket knife again, waving it so that I saw it.

The rain came down harder, drowning out my cries for help as he moved down my body.

He was kissing my neck, nipping at me…

…unbuttoning my jacket…

…sliding his hands underneath the soaked fabric…

He chuckled, slapping me again as I kicked out at him.

Every nerve, every cell, every fiber in my body was on fire.

His hand was on my thigh…and inching higher…

"You belong to me you filthy, ugly wench."

Why me? What had I done to deserve this? Had I done something wrong? Was this my punishment?

I sobbed.

"I'm going to make you beg for death, little girl."

His fingers twisted in the hem of my panties…

And still the rain fell.

Why me?

"…get ready, bitch…"

Why?

**End of Chapter 3**

AN#3: So yeah I'm sorry, it was just so horribly depressing, but that's a much in depth as I'm gunna go, lest I get slapped with a lot of angry responses or what not.

So review and what not, PLEASE!

I'll get the next one up soon, y'all. OH! And there's a POLL in the next chapter, too!

-Inulover411


	4. The End?

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing in any relation to Fruits Basket. I am just a hard-core fan

**Author's note**: **WOW**! THANK YOU! I got a lot more reviews recently and I thank you all for reading and reviewing—it's you all that keep me writing!

**AN#2**: Sorry for the delay, I'm having some computer trouble…and I'm also having a lot of trouble with one of the next chapters (I handwrite and then type.)

Onward, soldiers! OH! The POLL is at the BOTTOM of the chapter!

**Chapter 4: The End?**

Left foot.

Right foot.

Left foot.

Right foot.

Lightning flashes overhead, and its thunder reverberates over and over again in my head.

Where am I going?

Left foot

Right foot

I trip over my own feet and fall to my knees.

How pathetic.

There are no more tears. I feel nothing. The pain, the memories…it is all forgotten.

I pull myself to my feet, clutching my broken arm and numb to my tired, protesting body.

I keep walking.

I pass no one in the streets—it is far too late for anyone to be out. And in the rain, no less.

Left foot,

Right foot.

Keep going.

Don't stop.

Blood drips from my many cuts and falls to the ground where it then mixes with rain. And then it slips into a gutter. Will I be the same way? Will I slip away forever?

Will anyone notice I'm gone?

Thunder claps overhead. I am so very tired. My body aches. Every part of me I know is bruised, battered, and cut.

I know that I'm dying.

And I welcome it.

'_Just be yourself_,' I pause, and lift my head. I'm standing in front the cemetery. Finally.

I wince and turn, walking inside.

Through hazy, teary eyes I search for her. For my mother. I stumble again, and I nearly fall.

Where are you?

'_Hey, why are you crying_?'

I turn. There she it. I fall to the ground. 'Tohru…' I rest my head on her grave, knowing that my blood will stain it.

'_Tohru_,' I close my eyes. A warm blanket begins to close over me and I see her. Arms outstretched, she waits for me.

I'm coming mom.

"TOHRU!" a sharper voice shouts. Who it that? I can't see him…I'm too tired to open my eyes…and if this is warm, painless experience is death…well if this is death, then I welcome it.

"Tohru!" that someone continues to call my name. "Tohru please answer me!"

"K-K-K-Kyo?" I whisper. Yes, that's it. That's Kyo's voice. My heart swells with a sad happiness.

That's the boy I love. And I get to say goodbye.

"_Tohru_…"my mother calls to me again. I take a step towards her.

"Oh god, please Tohru, stay with me, please!" Kyo cries. I want to open my eyes, but I can't. I want to tell him…I have to tell Kyo that I love him…but I can't. The warm blanket immobilizes me. I hear him sobbing. Oh Kyo. Don't cry…I'm sorry. I love you…and I have always loved you. But I couldn't help you…I couldn't save you…forgive me…

And don't cry anymore.

His voice fades away and the warm wave of blackness consumes me. I walk to my mother. She wraps her arms around me, with that same smile on her face.

She's so warm…

"Oh Tohru, I love you," she says softly.

I slip away with a smile.

**END OF CH. 4**

OMG I KNOW IT WAS SHORT DON'T HIT ME! Next chapter coming REALLY soon! And NO it is NOT the END!! That's why there is a question mark!!

So yeah that was it….review…please?

**POLL TIME!!**

If you could see any of the following Fruits Basket guy characters do a strip tease, who would it be???

Kyo

Yuki

Shigure

Hatori

Aayame

Kureno

Kakeru (what?!!) (He didn't want to be left out!! I couldn't leave him out!!)


	5. Searching

**Chapter 5-Searching**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fruits Basket.

"What do you mean she's not here?!" I yelled, furious and, even better, soaking wet from this goddamn thunderstorm.

Ksht. Thunderstorm? More like a freakin' tsunami!! I'll never be dry again!

But that doesn't matter right now…

Tohru's boss, a heavy-set, balding old man who was shorter than even Momiji glared angrily at us from the other side of the desk.

"You gotta be freakin' kidding here, fatso!" I yell, my voice laced with acid.

"I'll have you know that I have a glandular problem you foul-mouthed heathen!" the man answers, shifting his glasses with his index finger and glaring at me. If looks could kill, then I would have been murdered instantly.

"Please, you're sure she's not here?" Yuki asks again, his voice a little louder this time as he shakes from the rain in his coat.

"Yes!" the man says, clearly annoyed. "Last I saw her she was in her school uniform and taking some trash out back so she could go home!"

"Well when the hell was that?!" I yell.

"Watch your mouth you young whippersnapper!"

"Answer the question you—"I start. Yuki puts his hand on my shoulder, as if to try and calm me down or something. I shrug him off, my temper spilling over.

"Get the f—"

"Boys! PLEASE leave now! You will wake my customers!" Tohru's boss said.

"We're going, but can you tell us when you last saw her?" Yuki asks.

Nearly boiling with frustration (and with a bulging vein in his neck) the man glanced up at the clock over the door.

"Almost an hour and a half ago. I—"

We didn't stay to hear the end of his sentence. I pulled ahead of Yuki as we ran outside and to the alley behind the building. It was pretty dark and I almost tripped.

"Tohru?!"

"Miss Honda?"

"Why would she be here anyway…" I say slowly, trying to peer through the pressing darkness.

"Kyo…"Yuki calls. I hear the fear in his voice, and my heart rate accelerates. I run over to his side. There on the gravel floor, was Tohru's school bag. Lightning flashes again and illuminates the entire alleyway.

My breath catches in my throat.

There's blood spattered across her bag.

"Let's go. Check everywhere," and then we were off, running. We checked all of the local parks and stores hoping that, just maybe, we'd find her hiding out from the rain.

No such luck.

My clothes were drenched, and my hair clung to my face like glue, and the rain was trying to sap me of my energy.

But I ignored all those things.

A while later we stopped under a bus stop. Breathing hard and shivering, we tried to regroup.

"What are we gunna do?" I asked slowly, not expecting an answer.

Yuki could only shake his head in response.

Suddenly something popped into my mind.

As thunder rumbled in the clouds above I turned to my arch-enemy. "Let's try one more place…" Yuki looks up, still catching his breath. He looks at me through confused and terrified eyes. "Let's go look at the cemetery." I say.

"Why would she be there?"

"I just have a hunch…" and I was off, running again. Yuki followed closely behind me,

About 10 minutes later we arrived at the entrance. I slowed to a jog and hurried inside, passing countless gravestones along the way.

'Please Tohru. Please…please be here…' I silently begged with myself as we wallowed through the rain, which was lightening somewhat.

"I don't see—"Yuki started to say.

But we both froze instantly, our eyes locking simultaneously on the same spot.

There, lying on the ground, was a small figure.

"TOHRU!" I yell, sprinting to her. Yuki and I roll her on her back.

My stomach turns inside out. There was blood all over her mother's grave.

And now the blood of the girl I loved was on my hands.

Yuki and I sat in silence, too shocked for action.

Her eyes were closed.

Her small, fragile little body was cut and bruised beyond all reason. Her left arm was twisted at a disgusting angle. Blood trickled from her lips. Yuki stood up and walked away, pulling out his cell phone.

"Tohru! Tohru, please answer me!" I scream. My fingers twist through my hair as tears begin to fall from my eyes. They burn and blur my vision.

I'm afraid to touch her…afraid that I will only hurt her more…that I will break her…

Her school uniform was ripped and bloody, and her skirt…

…her skirt was on backwards.

I put a hand to my mouth to hold back the sudden urge to vomit.

There was blood running down her thighs…

'_Brutally raped…'_

I sobbed aloud, screaming to the heavens. Why? Why? Why her?!

Then I notice something.

She's not breathing.

"Oh god, please Tohru, stay with me, please!" I cry, leaning over her. I shake her roughly. Her hair falls back and I see the many cuts and bruises on her pale, porcelain face. I pull her into a low-set sitting position against the gravestone.

She breathes again.

More tears fall from my eyes. I hear the sound of approaching sirens. I hope that it is not too late.

"K-K-K-Kyo?" I look up, choking back a sob. It's Tohru. She tries to open her eyes, but fails as she fades in and out of consciousness. I grab her hand earnestly and lean in closer, hoping she can see me. Hoping she can hear me. I notice that both of her wrists are slit and gushing blood.

'…_murdered by way of slit wrists…'_

Something inside me tells me I should try to stop the bleeding. But something stronger tells me to lean in, to hold her hand. My voice swells in my throat.

She has to know…I have to tell her…that I love her.

"Tohru…" I call, my voice breaking twice. Her face twitches into what could have been a smile. She squeezes my hand with the slightest of pressures.

"Kyo… Oh Kyo…Don't cry…" her broken voice only makes me cry harder.

"I'm sorry." Sorry?! For what?

"I love you…" she continues, "…and I have always loved you. But I couldn't help you…I couldn't save you…forgive me…" she says, her voice fading away.

Without a second thought I grab her. I transform with a loud poof and stay, huddled and crying, in her arms. Her hand falls to the ground. My body shakes with agony as she slips away into unconsciousness.

"Oh Tohru, I love you," I cry, sobs racking my body.

I love you.

**END OF CHAPTER 5**

R&R please! I would REALLY appreciate it! And WOW I know! I updated ALREADY!! OMG!

Poll Results given in the next chapter!!

-inulover411


	6. Waiting

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in any relation to Fruits Basket

**POLL RESULTS!!** Okay well not many people voted…but so far the voting stands as so:

**1st place** for the strip tease: Kyo!!—3 votes (including mine!!!)

**2nd place:** Kakeru and Hatori—both with 2 votes

**3rd place:** Yuki, Shigure, Aaya, and Kureno—all with 1 vote

I'm sure there will be another poll up soon, so watch for them! :D

Again, THANK YOU to all those who review, and to those who read as well.

Speaking of reviews I got lots of great reviews and everyone's DYING (no pun intended) to know if I really did kill Tohru!! So ONWARD!! Sorry in advance if Kyo gets really OOC…it just happens…

**Chapter 6: Waiting**

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Each second passes slowly. Agonizingly so. Every annoying little tick of the clock echoes through my head like a hammer. I glance up at the clock through my mess of hair. 2:18 am. I know I should be tired. I know I should feel something…but all I feel right now is pain.

Pain, loss, and disgust.

My hands twist through my hair as I hunch over in my uncomfortable, ugly green chair. The memories return and I cringe.

Like a terrible nightmare…like a never-ending bad movie replaying over and over again…

Forever I will see her, lying broken on the ground. That image of her so weak, so far gone…blood trickling from her lips…her bruised and battered face…her blood on my fingers…

They were all stained permanently into my memory. I heard Shigure talking on a phone somewhere nearby. Through a fog I try to comprehend his words. Apparently everyone at the Sohma house knew now, and Hatori was on his way.

_'I'm sorry,'_

I bite my lip and hide my face behind my hair. Come on Kyo, I tell myself, be a man already! Grow up…don't cry…

_'Don't cry,' _her voice replays again in my head and I try to fight back the tears.

Oh Tohru, what were you sorry for? How could you be apologizing, to me of all people, when you're lying there, bleeding on the ground…when you're-

-No. I couldn't even say the word. I couldn't even think it.

My breath catches in my throat at the thought of it…of never seeing her smile…of never hearing her voice again…

…the very idea of such a thing…made me want to die.

I couldn't really remember much of the night after we found Tohru. Yuki had called an ambulance, and he had let me lay there, in her arms, until the ambulance arrived. Normally, I wouldn't have allowed my enemy to see me in such a weak, vulnerable state…

…but this was different. And he knew it.

Yuki had picked both me and my clothes up while the men attended to Tohru. I remembered them hurrying over and having a brief conversation with Yuki. But I couldn't recall what was said. I remembered the men shouting orders at each other and rushing back and forth…and I remembered, quite vividly, how worried they were…

After that, nothing…everything was a fog…people were talking, but I wasn't hearing…wasn't seeing…wasn't believing.

Somehow we had ended up here in the hospital's waiting room. The TV was on to some late night comedic show.

No one is laughing.

There's so much tension in the room, but no one tries to break it. We all stay there, submerged in our shock.

Yuki sits across from me, staring blankly at a wall.

I check the clock again: 2:19?! What? It's only been one freaking minute? How is that possible? That can't be right…

Shigure takes a seat beside me, but says nothing. For once, the stupid dog decides to keep his mouth shut.

He knows there is nothing he can say.

I hear a door open and I jolt upright in my seat. A nurse walks out, still in his green scrubs. He's pretty young, probably training here at the hospital.

"Are you all Tohru's family?" he asks. Well duh, retard, there's no one else in here! But then I pause, and I wonder. How do I answer that question? Is she family? Or is she just…is she just a girl living with us…

…no, that's not true…

"Yeah, we're her family," I say. The nurse turns and looks at me, his face expressionless. He can't be much younger than Shigure…

"We're just finishing up. The surgeon will be out shortly to talk with you." He turns, and I open my mouth to question him. And then I fall silent as he disappears behind the doors again. He doesn't know anything at all. I'd be better off waiting.

I settle down again in my chair, and curl up into a ball. I close my eyes…and I try to remember…I try to think of something, anything, besides the current situation.

But I can't.

I try.

I try hard.

I'd think of her, so pure and happy, and then I would be painfully hit by those same haunting images.

My world, all that I knew and believed in, had all crumbled and crashed to the ground.

We didn't know if she would live, we just knew that her life hang in the balance.

And so did mine.

I tried to picture it: a world without Tohru…and I saw…nothing. Nothing but blackness. Darkness.

_"Look at my new scarf, Kyo!" she laughed and smiled that same goofy grin._

_"It looks like you could hit someone if you spun around," I answered back. I was smiling; too…I couldn't stop it as a huge grin spread over my face._

_"Hya!!" she spun around and pelted me with the pom-poms on her scarf, and I laughed like no other._

How could I live in a world without you, Tohru? I can't just return to the way I was…and I can't just give up like I did when your mom died, either because…you've…you've changed me…you've accepted me…you've…you…

_"Just that you all are thinking of me, well..." a sweet little blush played across her cheeks. "…I am so happy! And I want you to be happy, too." And then she had looked at me. And smiled._

I'd rather die…I'd rather die than be without you.

Because I love you.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

The door opens again and I sit back up. My cousins follow suit and we watch, with pained anxiety, as a much older surgeon, also in his scrubs, pulls up one of those ugly green chairs.

For a moment, there is silence. I see him thinking, contemplating, choosing his words carefully…

My heart starts to race.

"So…?" Shigure asks. Yuki stares, his face expressionless, at the doctor. I'm sure his expression matches mine.

Tick

Tock

These seconds are tantalizing. Excruciating. Why won't he speak? Why doesn't he say anything? I don't understand…

Tick

Say it…

Tock

Say she's alright…

Tick

Say that she's…

Tock

…that she's going to live.

Finally he speaks. "Well, my job is done. It was quite a challenge, but I managed to stitch Tohru back up. The slits on her wrists were the most difficult to suture…she lost…a lot of blood. It's lucky that she was found when she was. A few minutes more and she would have bled to death."

"So you think that-" Shigure converses, unsure of his words.

"-that it's the same guy?" the doctor interrupted. "Yes. The man that they're looking for has always…slit his victim's wrists to kill them after he was done. It must be the same person."

"I see…" Shigure answers flatly.

The doctor continues. "Tohru's arm was badly broken, and we had to put a few plates in, but it should heal in time. She also had a variety of other cuts, probably from some sort of pocket knife, and some internal bleeding from being hit and kicked so much. Physically, I've done all I can right now."

"Will she live?" I randomly blurt out.

The doctor gets a pained expression on his face.

"She's stable. If she makes it till morning, I think she'll live."

I fall back into my chair, feeling somewhat relieved. A small weight has lifted from my chest.

"Can we see her?" Yuki asks.

"No, not yet…she will probably be sleeping for several more hours…"

"Well, when can we see her?"

"I…I'm not sure you should…"the doctor said slowly.

"Excuse me?" Shigure asks. I hear a tint of anger in his voice.

"Well…rape…it's not something that can be dealt with lightly. It…it changes a person. I've seen girls who wouldn't let male nurses touch them. I've seen so many slip into bouts of depression…and I've seen quite a few commit suicide." He answered.

My heart jumped at his words. "But Tohru's not like that…" he turns to me.

"Who knows? Frankly, I've never seen any case as bad as she is…sometimes the pain…the memories…the fear…the hate…they all get to be too much. Even the happiest person cannot be unchanged by such an act. People change. And sometimes, that person you knew…she never comes back." We all fell silent.

"Could you tell? I mean…if she was-"Shigure started, trying to break tension.

"-Pregnant?" he interrupted again. He could see how difficult it was for Shigure to bring up the subject, let alone say the word. "No. There is no possible way for us to be able to tell now. But honestly, with as much…internal damage…as he did during the act, I would put the chance of Tohru becoming pregnant to be very, very low. And even if that were to happen, I don't think that her body would be able to sustain a new being. I doubt if she will ever be able to have children. There's just…way too much damage." The doctor continued his voice monotonous as he explained.

"Oh…" Is all Shigure could say.

The doctor sighed. "Look, I know how heavy a situation this is…but if she survives until morning, then there is still hope. Don't give up. Even if she has, don't give up. You all are her family. You have to support her. Things may look bleak now, but there is always hope…" the doctor got to his feet and turned to leave. He stopped and sighed again, turning to us with a pained expression.

"I may regret this later…and maybe it will only hurt you all more. Maybe it will only hurt her more…but…if you all want to, then I will let you see her when she wakes up."

"Thank you," Yuki replies, bowing his head and hiding his face in his mop of purple hair.

"But I'm warning you." The severity of his voice brought all our heads back up. He looked at us with sharp, experienced eyes. "You may not like what you find."

And with that, he left, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

"Shigure?" We all look to see Hatori, having just now entered the waiting room. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was still messed up from sleeping. His face…there was a look of repressed terror upon it.

"Hello Hatori," Shigure said, getting to his feet.

"So?" Hatori asked.

"Well…they say if she makes it till morning, then she'll probably live and…" I quickly tuned him out as Shigure repeated the doctor's words. Morning seemed so far away…I urged the clock to go faster…the suspense was brutal. The uncertainty of her life was hell.

_"You might not like what you find."_

I closed my eyes and curled up in a ball in my chair.

And I prayed.

I prayed for the girl I loved.

**END OF CHAPTER 6**

So yeah! That was it! What did you all think? PLEASE REVIEW!!

So is Tohru dead? Alive? Guess you'll just have to wait and find out!

-Inulover411

OH! And a BIG shout-out to kouga's older woman because your review helped me start the NEXT chapter! Huzzah!!


	7. Is This Death?

Hey there y'all!

OMG I must say you all have been SO supportive! This story is catching on a lot faster than my other one did---and I hope that means that people are enjoying it.

Another poll's coming up so keep watching!

Again, thank you to kouga's older woman for helping me start this chapter—even though my first version of it was just…terrible. THANK YOU!

Onward! Is she dead? Is she alive? WHO KNOWS! That's the fun!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fruits Basket, or anything in relation to it. I'm just a fan. Yeah.

**CHAPTER 7****—Is This Death?**

"Oh Tohru, I love you,"

Darkness overcomes me like a wave and suddenly I'm all alone.

"M-Mom?" I call, afraid. In this black nothingness, my own voice echoes I search for her, turning around in the impenetrable darkness. I start to run, looking for her. For someone. For anyone.

It's hopeless. I can't find my way. I'm running, but I'm going nowhere. There is no direction, no up nor down, just a never ending sea of black. I begin to panic.

And then I hear something.

Someone is calling my name…I turn, and I throw my arm up to shield my eyes from a bright white light. I smile.

There she is. My mother is there, waiting for me in a doorway of light.

"Tohru, honey, come here," she says, opening her arms for me. I run to her and leap into her outstretched arms just like I did when I was a child. She swings me around and we laugh together again. It is as if nothing has changed. "Tohru, there's someone I want you to meet." She takes my hand and pulls me through the doorway of light.

And then there is nothingness. A warm emptiness surrounds me.

"Tohru?" someone is calling my name again. I open my eyes only to see a bright blue sky overhead. It's so vibrantly blue that it is nearly blinding. Something tickles my back and hands and I sit up in surprise. I'm lying in a meadow of tall grass and wildflowers. There's a forest of cherry trees nearby. The leaves are starting to fall, and they dance in the wind that carries them around the meadow.

"Wow…" I say, looking around the whole valley. There are dozens of butterflies of all sorts of sizes and colors flitting about the meadow. I'm bombarded with the scents of different wildflowers as they too bask in the sunlight. A soft wind blows, and the flowers all tilt backwards in it. My hair falls away from my face and I sigh in bliss.

"Well are you going to sit there all day?" a soft voice chuckles. I turn towards it.

My breath catches in my throat.

I recognize him immediately. His black hair…his empowering eyes…

…my father is sitting beside me.

"Father?" I ask, my voice shaking with uncertainty. He smiles, and his happiness illuminates his entire face. He rises and stretches out his hand to help me up.

He looks no older than he did when he passed away. He hadn't aged a day. Like mom had always said he did, he was sharply dressed in dark dress pants and a nice white shirt.

I take his hand, and he lifts me from the ground as if I were weightless. I gasp and look down at myself. My body is untouched. There's not a bruise nor cut nor mark upon my skin. I'm wearing an innocent white sleeveless dress that hugs my curves. It is as if my incident never occurred…

We stand there in silence. My small hand fits so perfectly into his, just like it did when I was little…

This has to be death.

My father steps back and looks me up and down. He smiles again, and I find myself blushing.

"Wow, you sure did grow up, sweetie. You're almost as old as your mom was when we met," he said, his soft voice ringing in my ears like a symphony.

"R-Really?" I ask, at a loss for words. He nods and begins to walk to the forest of cherry trees, lightly pulling me along behind. I hurry so that I may walk beside him. Step in step, hand in hand, we go on.

I glance over at him, and he catches me looking. He laughs lightly and my heart dances in my chest. He looks so real, so genuine, so…alive…

"Father?" I finally ask, pausing momentarily.

"Yes?" And he turns to me, looking at me with such sincerity and…love…that I find myself speechless.

"Nothing," I say, nearly whispering. He looks concerned but we continue walking in our content silence.

I try to speak. A thousand burning questions tingle on my lips. There were so many things that I wanted to say…so many things I wanted to ask…I wanted to sit and talk with him…with my father…for hours on end.

This man, my father…

…I wanted to know him.

Did he love me?

When did he meet Mom?

Did he and I do things together?

What sort of places did he take me to?

What songs did he sing to me?

Where did he play?

What did Mom --

"Tohru, look," he breaks me from my train of thoughts. We are standing in the middle of the cherry tree forest. He looks up, and I follow his gaze.

My breath catches in my throat. Cherry blossoms are falling all around us like snow. Birds were singing. Rays of sunlight shine between the trees' branches and cascade upon the ground like rippled water.

"It's so beautiful…" I say finally. My father nods.

"I know. This is my favorite place, and I wanted to show it to you…do you remember?"

"Remember what?"

"I used to take you to a place like this when you were just a baby."

"You did?" I asked. I was stunned. Here I was, actually having a conversation with my long dead father. This man…this man that I had once thought to be a bad man…

…how could I ever have been so foolish?

"Yes. We would go see my father—your grandfather—and Kyoko and I would take you on walks through his garden. He had a patch of cherry trees just like this and the petals would fall like snow upon the ground. You would run around and try to catch them all mid-air, laughing and giggling constantly. You made Kyoko and me so very happy, Tohru," he said. The soft melody of his voice enchanted me.

This had to be death.

For only in dreams had I dared to imagine my father. I had tried to picture the man my Mom talked about. The one she had loved and the one who had loved her. But I couldn't do it…I used to imagine what life would have been like had he never died. I would try to remember the sound of his voice...the way it felt when he held me…

In those very few memories I had of him, I had envisioned him in what I thought was all his glory.

But that was nothing compared to this.

My father closes his eyes and sunlight cascades down through the branches and upon his handsome face. I find myself staring. He looks so real…so at peace…so…alive…that I begin to wonder…

"Am I dead?" I ask. The angelic look upon his face falters, and he turns to look at me. The wind lightly blows back his hair and I'm enraptured by his powerful eyes.

"No, you aren't, Tohru," he answers slowly, emphasizing each word.

"But you are?"

"Yes."

"So…where am I? What is this place?"

Moments pass in silence.

"Tohru?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"I love you very much. Please, Tohru, don't ever forget that I love you." I held my breath as he spoke. He turned back to me, sadness written across his face as he watched me. "I wish I could have been there for you, Tohru. I would give anything if I could just have lived and been with you and your mom…I would've given everything I had just to have been able to be your father…and I wish, more than anything in the world, that I could be with you now to help you through this time. I love you, Tohru. You are my daughter, and I will always love you and I will always be watching over you."

"And so will I." I turn to see my mom appearing behind us. She walks over and stands beside my father.

Suddenly, I cannot hold back any longer. I run to them both, and they wrap their arms around me.

We are together again.

A family.

"It was so good to see you, my sweet beautiful girl," my father says.

"But is time," mom says.

"Time for what?" I ask, confused. I pull back and startle, grabbing my father's shirt in fear.

The blue sky, the cherry trees, the birds, the sunlight…all gone. There was only my mom, my dad, and I holding each other in the black abyss from whence I came.

"You have to go back, Tohru," my mom says.

"What?"

"It's not time for you to join us, Tohru," my father says.

"Tohru, this is going to be so hard for you."

"What do you mean?" I ask, my heart picking up speed.

"There will be times when you just want to give up."

"You'll wish for the end,"

"You'll feel yourself crumbling, breaking…"

They let me go, and begin to back away. I step after them, only to find myself trapped. Unable to follow. I look up, and they are even further away. They are both smiling, but their eyes both read sadness.

"We love you, Tohru,"

"NO! I WANT to stay with you! Please! Please, wait!" I cry, tears falling down my face. I try to follow, but they continue to disappear.

I look down, and my body is bruised and battered again. Memories of the night start to bombard me and I fall to my knees.

"I can't! I can't do this! It's too much! Mom! Dad! Please! Take me with you!" I cry, my heart wrenching in agony. Another light is shining behind me…pulling me in…

…it is the light of life.

But I don't want to live.

My parents are gone. I cry for them and I search for them. But they are nowhere.

"Promise us, Tohru."

"What?" I sob. The light starts to wrap around me. My struggling is useless.

I am being pulled back to the world of the living. To life.

To what had happened to me…

"Mom! Dad! Take me with you! I don't want to live! Please!"

"Promise." I hear my dad say again, more sternly.

"Promise you what?"

"Promise that you will keep trying…don't give in…you have to promise us…that you will live. No matter what," my mother's voice says.

"But-"

"Promise us." She says again, her voice fading away.

"I promise!" I scream, tears raining down my face.

The light has encased my body…it begins to cover my eyes…

In the last moment I see them. My mother and father are standing there in the black abyss, and are waving goodbye…and smiling.

Then, they vanish.

The light engulfs me completely.

"Goodbye, Tohru."

END OF CHAPTER 7

So yeah, sorry if it didn't work out quite right…

PLEASE review! It's the only thing that keeps me going!!!

PLEASE!!

Next chapter up soon!


	8. Fear

Disclaimer: I. Own. NOTHING!

So hey there y'all, I was somewhat disappointed…not so many reviews on the last …So I'm guessing that y'all didn't like it that much…my apologies, I'll try harder…?

SO! Poll time!

Did you want Tohru to have died?

Yes or No ?

Go on and vote! Tap it on with your **REVIEW**!! (Which, btw, I REALLY hope you guys do review--it means SO much to me!)

**Chapter 8—Fear**

_It's__ your__ fault. _

"Kyo? Kyo. Kyo! Wake UP already you stupid cat!" I jump up, my body covered in a light layer of sweat, and away from Yuki, who had been standing over me, hissing in my ear like a snake. He looked rather annoyed, his disheveled mess of hair not hiding the anger in his purple-ish colored eyes. We stand there momentarily in tense silence, glaring daggers at each other, when finally I break the tension and check the clock.

10:32. Morning.

"The doctor said she should wake up soon, and that we can go see her," Yuki says, his voice tight as if he was restraining his anger.

Somebody on my right coughs and I leap back in surprise. The waiting room, which had been a ghost town earlier this morning, was now filled with people. Old men with canes…women with babies…crying parents…I begin to feel somewhat claustrophobic in this tiny room. Did I really not notice that all these people were here?

"Coming?" Shigure calls. I turn to see the dog standing at the door to the rest of the hospital wing, waiting for us. His shirt is obnoxiously lopsided, but he does nothing to fix it. I hold his gaze for a moment, captured by his expression. He's smiling…but in his eyes, fear is written.

"Yes, sorry for the wait. THIS moron wouldn't get up," Yuki sighs, heading for the door. I feel my anger start to bubble inside me and I clench my fists in anger. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end as I watch him stroll away. I snarl. Just the mere sight of that guy gets me going! Stupid rat. Always so stuck up…it's like he thinks he's some almighty great guy or something!

"Yes, well, it's good to see that he's finally up. I thought our Kyo would sleep forever," Shigure teased.

"Shut up, I wasn't sleeping!" I yell in denial, anger boiling over like hot water in a kettle. Everyone in the room stares, surprised at the volume and ferocity of my voice. Yuki sighs again, and flashes an apologetic glare at a nearby couple. The woman ducks into her coat as a bright red blush sweeps her cheeks.

"How can you be so loud this early…?" I reach up, wiping the sweat from my forehead with the sleeve of my jacket. I notice that there was something red stained into the fabric…

…Her blood…

"It's not early, Yuki," Shigure answers with a chuckle. "And trust us, Kyo, you were most definitely asleep. You were tossing and turning in your chair all night like a little restless child! I even poked you once!"

"What?!"

"And you were even talking in your sleep!"

"WHAT??!!!" I yell, both in disbelief and embarrassment. What did I say? What happened? What did they hear?!!

"It was hilarious! The things you said were just—"

"Oh just stop already, you two. Can't you see that you're annoying?" Hatori says, quite coolly, as he comes out from the bathroom. "Let's just go see her and leave these people alone."

"Ahh, Hatori, so you're coming as well?"

"Of course."

"Good, good! Shall we go then?" Shigure chimes, holding open the door for us. Yuki ducks under his arm and through the doorway, followed by Hatori. Shigure stands in the doorway, waiting for me. He stares. I remain hovering near my chair and do not move towards him.

"Aren't you coming?" he asks, his voice strained and impatient. The smile disappears, and is replaced by a stone face. He is somewhat angry, but curious, as to my not having followed. I swallow. Hard. And head after the others. The door swings shut with a loud, painful squeak and Shigure passes me, walking in front with Hatori as we begin to ascend the first flight of stairs.

As we walk, I attempt to keep myself occupied. I glance left and right to try and read the countless random posters about hand washing and the common cold that had been hap hazardously tacked on the wall…

…but as we amble our way up the stairs, the doctor's words begin to echo through my head.

_"You may not like what you find."_

As the words replay again a new feeling begins to creep through my body.

We're at the next flight.

_"You may not like what you find."_

I stop on the first step, my heartbeat hammering in my head.

Parasitically, it seems, something is coursing through my body. With sleek, slender fingers is makes its way through me, snatching and consuming my limbs, every cell, and every fiber of my being…

I was scared.

No. Scratch that, beyond scared. I was terrified to the core.

That warm, cheerful Tohru…the one that I loved…would she ever be the same? The image of her broken body again flashed in my mind, and I cringed from the pain it brought me.

_"Kyo?" _Tohru's merry, child-like voiced echoed through my head again, bringing with it overwhelming waves of fear and pain. She smiled, and laughed again.

Would I ever hear that voice again?

Would I ever hear her laugh again?

Could she ever be the same?

Or would she remain broken, forever…

Could she ever be helped?

Could she ever be healed?

Would she drift away from everyone? Even from me?

Or would she just disappear…like Mom…

"Kyo?" I look up, startled from my thoughts. Everyone has stopped a few stairs ahead of me and is waiting. I straighten my jacket nervously and hurry after them.

With each step, the monster attacks again. My legs feel heavier with each step. My heart pounds faster and harder each passing second.

Fear courses through my veins like poison. My hands are sweaty and they begin to shake.

Could I handle it?

A world in which Tohru was not happy…a world in which she did not smile…in which she did not laugh…

…Could I really handle that?

"We're here," I look up. We're standing in front of a door marked '224-Honda' in a busy, pale-colored hallway. Nurses bustle back and forth. The others try and make way, politely sidestepping the frenzied nurses. But not me.

I am frozen. My body is locked with fear. Everything shuts down. My breathing becomes shorter and each breath comes closer together.

I'm hyperventalating.

Yuki reaches out to pull open the door.

Time seems to slow. At an inestimable pace his hand draws closer and closer to the handle.

To revealing her.

To the very thing I feared the most.

My vision starts to blur.

My heart pounds like a jackhammer. It blocks out all sound as it hammers through my head.

I'm not ready.

I can't do it. I just can't!

_"Right straight!"_

"No…" I whisper. No one hears. My voice is barely even audible.

I can't do it…

I don't _want_ to do it.

The girl that I loved…would she ever be the same?

Yuki's fingertips curled around the handle. My entire body begins to shake. My knees are weak, my face and palms are sweaty.

_"I love you, Kyo_,"

I ran just as Yuki pulled back the door.

**END OF CHAPTER 8**

Awwwe! Stupid Kyo! He's always running away! Come on, be a man!

So yeaaaaaaaaaaah, PLEASE review!

And if anybody has any ideas on the next chapter, i'm all ears. :D

-inu


	9. ANPoll please read!

**AUTHOR's NOTE/POLL**

Thanks to EVERYONE who has reviewed so far! This is a big shout out to YOU!

The next chapter is…um…inexistent…at the moment…but I'm working on it! I am, I promise! Don't give up hope!

I'm just having a hard time with it and such. My last chapter throws off what I wanted to do for the next chapter, so I have to work around it.

Any suggestions? I'm open to anything from anyone…

OH! And just so you know, there will be a SEQUEL (probably) after the BIG TWIST! O_O But then again, is that really wise? Should I make a sequel or should I just continue on until theres like 30 chapters....? IDK what's your opinion?

**POLL TIME:**

What did you do when you found out Akito was a girl?

1. Ran around screaming bloody murder.

2. Threw the book away in disgust.

3. Thought 'oh, well, that makes sense,'

4. Accepted it without a problem

5. Cried

(its random)

Hope to have the next chapter up soon! Happy Holidays


	10. To Catch A Cat

**Disclaimer**: I do not in any way, shape, or form, own anything related or pertaining to Furuba, its characters, and its story line. (There I said it ALL)

**AN:** WOW I must say a lot of people have been reviewing lately! It makes me SO happy that you guys review! I love you all! *sob sob cry cry* Happy 2010!

***IMPORTANT: This chapter may not be as good as the rest, and it falls under the category of possibly being redone***

**Poll Results:** I was also amazed with how many of you voted! I must've made a great poll then! Yay me! The results:

Ran around screaming bloody murder.—3 votes

Threw the book away in disgust.—1 vote

Thought 'oh, well, that makes sense,'—1 vote

Accepted it without a problem—3 votes (including mine)

Cried—1 vote

(other) Confused—1 vote

Looks like a tie between 'ran around screaming bloody murder' and 'accepted it'! Congrats fellow fan-fic goers! Another poll to be added soon and I guarantee you'll like it!

(Not to repeat myself BUT…) This chapter may not be as good as the rest, and it falls under the category of possibly being redone

Sorry in advance if you don't like it…Kyo's gunna get a little OOC, too…

**Why Chapter 9: To Catch a Cat**

Hatori, Shigure, and Yuki stood in awed silence, staring at Kyo's back as he disappeared down the hallway and around a corner.

"Um…" Yuki finally said, turning to look at Shigure. Hatori mumbled something, sighed, and headed he inside Tohru's room, leaving the cousins alone in the hallway.

Finally catching Yuki's glance, Shigure could only shrug his shoulders and grin complacently.

"You find this funny?" Yuki asked, his voiced strained and tight.

"No no…it's just…I know how he feels." Shigure answered. With a far off look upon his face, he glanced back down the hallway.

"Well, it seems that even you have a heart," Hatori answered from the other side of the door. Shigure laughed, but it was forced.

"Is she awake?" Yuki asked, ignoring the subtle fluttering of his heart.

"Not yet."

"Ah…"

"Yes, Hari, I, being the novelist that I am, have a heart of gold—"

"—more like a heart of cyanide."

"Point taken," Shigure replied, trying to be nonchalant and humorous. But as his gaze returned to the door, Yuki noted the immense sadness in his eyes. His lofty voice lowered, and his grin vanished. Serious again, he spoke, his eyes seeing something that was not there. "He's scared."

"We all are," Yuki responded shortly, his voice a mere mumble. He too looked at the door, which was half open. His own heart started to hammer out an uneven pattern. "We are all scared."

"He's terrified to the very core." Hatori added. "He loves her so much, that he cannot bear the very thought of what he might find."

"But still..." Shigure chuckled, and reached out for the door. "…to act like that? How childish." With the flick of his wrist, he pulled back the door and headed inside, leaving Yuki alone. Though nurses bustled by, Yuki continued to stay frozen, staring down the hallway after Kyo. He could hear Tohru's heart monitor quietly beeping along inside, and he heard his older cousins striking a conversation.

He sighed and ruffled his hair again.

"That idiot just never learns."

(With Kyo)

I'm running again.

Arms pumping, lungs burning, I'm only repeating the same act.

I'm running away.

It's all I'm good at.

It's all I ever do.

"Hey!" A portly blonde nurse yells, jumping out of my way as I run by. I ignore her and her wheelchair-bound patient and hurry on.

To where am I going? I don't know.

Anywhere.

Anywhere but here.

Adrenaline still surges through my body, and my eyes blur with what I recognize as tears.

I burst through the doors of the hospital and they creak loudly from the force. The sunshine blinds me as I run to a local park. Water from numerous puddles splashes on my pants as I run through them. My pace slows as I near a fountain, and collapse onto a wooden bench, still soaked from the previous night's rain.

I sit there for a while, trying desperately to calm myself. I try taking deep breaths to still my still racing heart. I try counting to ten to calm the nerves that were still shaking my body.

When finally my heart starts to slow, I look up. The park is full of kids and parents alike. Moms and Dads look after their children from sidewalks or benches. Some couples were even holding hands and kissing. Squealing and giggling, kids chased each other around the park. Those with rain boots laughed and jumped puddles, splashing water everywhere. That must be fun…to be so young and not have any troubles in the world…

"Hey there hot stuff, what's wrong?" I jump up, bewildered, and look to my left. A semi-attractive blonde with hazel eyes was leaning against the bench. She winked, and got up, taking a few steps toward me. Trying to flirt, she reached up, twisting her hair in-between her slender fingertips and batting her overly-mascara-coated eyelashes. You look like you need a friend, cutie." She pursed her lips as she spoke—a terrible habit—"How about I—"

Before I could even react, I was gone.

Running again.

It must be my natural instinct…all I can do is run…all I ever do is run…

I spot a bathroom and I duck into the men's room—thankfully empty—quickly locking the door behind me.

I lean against the heavy door for support and repeat the process of trying to slow my heart and calm my nerves.

I hear that silly blonde girl calling me from somewhere outside, but she passes by. Wow, kind of reminds me of Kagura…

And suddenly I was hit by the image of Valentine's Day. Tohru was passing out chocolates, and Kagura laughed, enveloping her in a hug. I grinned, but my grin brought pain.

_"I forgot to ask if everyone liked chocolate…"_

I bit my lip as the image of her frown flashed before my eyes.

_"…You know, silly me!" _She laughed and smiled again. But I could tell that her smile was forced. She was sad that I didn't take her chocolate…she was sad…

…and it was all my fault.

I slipped into a sitting position, my back against the door, twisting my fingers through my hair.

God this is so pathetic.

My sensitive nose picks up on the odors from the bathroom, but I ignore them, swallowing myself in my misery.

It was all my fault.

Another tear falls.

All of it.

I was always making her cry…

I hunch over as the pain and agony of it all threatens to overcome me.

…I was always…

…hurting her…

…letting her down…

And I hadn't been there last night…

…If I'd just picked her up…maybe…

…maybe I could have saved her…

…I could have…I could have…

_"I don't blame you, Kyo."_

"Hey."

I look up, wiping my face. Of course he'd be here. Of course.

"I know you're in there you stupid cat."

"What do you want?" I answer, my voice laced with acid. I rise and make my way to the sink, fists clenched.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Shut up you stupid rat! This is none of your business!"

"You made this my business when you ran away like a scared little baby."

"Just leave me alone already!" I yell, my anger boiling over. I grip the edge of the sink and grit my teeth.

Of course he would do this. He saw me in my moment of weakness, and now he just wants to make it worse!

"You're a complete idiot."

"And you're a complete asshole!" I retort.

"Why'd you run?"

"Why did you?"

"I came after you."

"Why bother?"

"Why'd you run?" he repeats.

"Because."

"'Because' is not an answer. Please try and be a civilian and form complete sentences or—"

"God, shut UP already!"

"For goodness sakes, Kyo, GROW UP ALREADY!" Yuki yelled back, his voice matching mine in ferocity.

I fell silent, and he continued on, as if letting off steam.

"I know that you're scared, Kyo, but seriously! Don't you think we're scared, too? I'm terrified! We all are! We want Miss Honda to be the same…we wish this had never happened, but guess what, Kyo, it did!"

"Just be quiet you—"

"—everyone knows how you feel, you idiot! Everyone knows that you love her! We all see it!" My heart flutters, and I blush…did everyone really know?? "And if you really feel that strongly about her, then why are you out here? Why did you run away like a goddamn freaking child? Is that all you ever do? Grow up and be a man Kyo! If you really love her then get in there! If you really love her, then grow up and stay with her!" finally Yuki's voice began to lower. He was making sure that I heard his words.

"Look, things are going to change…no one can say what Miss Honda will be like now…she's scared and alone…she needs us…she needs you, Kyo." He paused, as if trying to stifle a sob. "Just grow up already! Be a man! Face your fears!"

I lift my head to look in the mirror. My breath catches in my throat.

"Things happen, Kyo. You're not a superhero. You couldn't stop what happened…but what you can do is be there for her now."

As I look into the mirror, the only thing I see…is a child.

"Just grow up already…"

SMASH

I jump back, surprised and shocked. My hand stings and blood begins to drip from my many cuts.

The pieces of the shattered mirror fall to the floor.

He's right.

I hate to say it, but he's right.

I shove my injured hand in my coat pocket and hurry outside, where Yuki is leaning against a vending machine, arms crossed and glaring.

I turn back to the hospital, and I hear Yuki following me.

He's right.

Before I know it, I'm standing again in front of her door. I could hear the sounds of her machine beeping along and a conversation between Shigure and Hatori…I close my eyes…and I hear her quiet breathing…

A fire blazes within me…despite my fear I am overcome by the need to see her. No matter how bad she looked, I wanted to be there…

I reach out, grabbing the door's handle.

Even as my legs beg me to do so, I refuse to run.

It's time for me to grow up.

Face my fears.

And be a man already.

_"I mean, I love you! I've always loved the cat from the zodiac!" _

"Dammit."

I pull back the door and step inside, Yuki following.

**End of Chapter 9**

So yeah…not my fave…but I must say, I LOVED my flirty little girl at the park! Aha! She was a fun character to write! She might come back later, actually, (JK) I just thought she was funny. Aha and it was fun to write the whole 'I have a heart of gold' convo, too! HA! and it was ALSO fun to write about Yuki this time, too...sarcastic but right.

Thanks again, y'all…PLEASE REVIEW!!

Next chapter in progress, I guess…maybe…lets see how many reviews I get…?

Happy New Year, BTW!

-Inulover411


	11. Visiting Day 1: KPOV

**Disclaimer:** Nothing be what I own, nothing! NOTHING!

**Author's Note**: OMG I must say people I was blown AWAY by how many reviews I got! W.O.W!! I guess y'all didn't think it was as bad as I made it out to be. :D I was really happy, thank you all again.

SO! The chapter everyone's been waiting for…onward!

**Why Chapter 10: Visiting Day 1: KPOV**

As I stepped inside, I kept my eyes glued to the floor. I could feel Shigure and Hatori's eyes glaring daggers as I took my seat in the chair furthest from the bed, which I refused to look at.

Apparently, my cousins' conversation had been unimportant, as now the two were silent. I counted the number of tiles on the floor: 26 1/2. I was vaguely aware of a nurse bustling around the room checking Tohru's machines. I ran out of tiles so I decided to count the number of blue speckles on the individual tiles, still refusing to look up and anywhere near Tohru's bed.

"So I guess you found Kyo, huh?" I looked up at the sound of my name. I kept my eyes trained and stared at Shigure. The bed was out of view, and that suited me just fine. Shigure stared back unblinkingly, a smug look upon his face. Hatori sat on his left and Yuki on his right.

Yuki nodded and continued to stare out the window at the cherry tree. Which was in full bloom, may I add. If I had been closer to the window, I'd have occupied myself by counting the number of blossoms as they floated through the breeze. Hatori was watching the nurse, likely taking his own observations. He still looked unkempt, and it was strange for me to see him as such. Hatori had always been a man of silent strength, and for me to see him with messed up hair and a wrinkled suit was both odd and unnerving.

I wondered if the nurse knew that Hatori was a doctor. Probably not, seeing as Hatori usually kept his practices to our family…and Tohru…

"Everything looks good here…" the nurse said, to no one in particular. She hummed a song I'd never heard as she inspected the machines. I soon found the melody to be annoying, and I returned to counting spots on the floor. My heart jumped when she spoke again.

"Well hey there, sweetie."

I looked up, heart racing, hands sweating with fear and anticipation. Mostly fear though…The nurse, who I now noted was very large and far too blonde for her age, was leaning over the small figure in the bed. From my seat, I could see that figure's feet.

"Hey, hey, easy now just stay down alright? You've been sleeping a long time and you're very hurt." I noticed the trained, cool, and fake sincerity in her voice. Like a bad actor, she was. "Do you know where you are?" she asked, smiling. I noticed she was missing a tooth. Gross.

There was no answer, but the nurse continued to grin, as if she was incapable of anything else. Of anything real. That's what I'd always hated about nurses, doctors, and teachers for that matter. They'd always pretend like everything was fine, even when things were terribly wrong. It pissed me off.

As Yuki, Shigure, and Hatori rose and advanced to her bed however, the nurse turned, her smile replaced by a frown and wrinkled forehead. Huh. I guess she is capable of another emotion.

"Easy there, we don't want to overwhelm her," she scoffed. Her smile returned to her fat face as she looked back at the bed. Shigure attempted a grin, but ended up looking like he had a sore in his mouth. Hatori and Yuki's faces were expressionless. My heart started to pick up speed again…did she really look that bad??

"So, sweetie, how are you feeling?" she asked. I cringed. Her voice was too sweet, too fake, too much like a record on replay…

I wanted to join my cousins at her bedside, but found myself still frozen in my chair. As uncomfortable as the faded leather was, I was unable to move. The nurse's words replayed in my head.

_"We don't want to overwhelm her,"_ I nodded, telling myself that she was right. Three was a crowd and four would be too much…it was better if I just stayed back here…I hung my head in shame.

I knew it was fake conviction. A lie. I was lying to myself about the real reason I was staying in my chair. The figure in the bed shifted, and I saw one of her slender arms reach up, as if to rub her face. I swallowed and looked away quickly, my stomach turning at the sight of her bandaged arm. I had noted, unfortunately, that some of the bandages were still bloody.

"No, no, no honey, don't rub your face," the nurse cooed, lightly reaching out and grabbing Tohru's arm. She slowly returned Tohru's arm back to the bed and gave her fake smile again. "We're going to need to change your bandages, okay? I've got to tell the doctor you're awake, but I'll be right back, okay?" The nurse turned and hurried out the door, throwing me a disapproving look as she passed.

For a few moments, the room was silent except for the beeping of Tohru's machine. Yuki looked away from the bed and back out the window. Biting his lip, I noticed that he was fighting back tears. My heart dropped to my stomach.

"How are you feeling?" Hatori asked.

"Fine," her voice was soft and low, and I could hardly hear her from where I sat.

It was a lie, the usual, thrown out response to that question. Just a gimmick. We all knew it. She knew it.

Fine? Yeah, right.

There was silence again.

"Why am I here?" her words were still slurred from sleep, and Hatori frowned.

"Don't you remember what happened?"

"…no...I meant—"

"—Kyo and I found you. I called the ambulance and Kyo stayed with you until the paramedics arrived." Yuki answered, looking back at her, his face perfectly composed again. "Don't you remember?"

"Kyo?" My heart fluttered.

"Yes, he's here, too, hiding in the corner," Shigure answered, looking over at me, almost glaring again. Had I imagined that hint of anger in his voice? I glared back, nearly snarling. Stupid dog. He lives just to embarrass me.

The room was again silent and uneasy. Tense.

"...don't remember…" came Tohru's slurred, low voice. Yuki nodded, almost in a disbelieving way.

Shigure grinned, as if he had something up his sleeve. I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Kyo, why don't you come over here and say hello."

Yep. Definitely something up his sleeve alright.

"Uh…" I said. The eyes of all three of my cousins all turned to me instantly. There was anger written in their faces. Their glares were icy, and I reluctantly pulled myself from my chair.

My body seemed to weigh a ton. Each step was a struggle. My heart pounded away, making my injured hand twinge with each pulsation. My eyes remained glued to the floor again as I walked the seeming miles to her bed. I wished for the walk to have been longer, but before I knew it, I was standing at the end of her bed. Hatori, Shigure, and Yuki's eyes left me, as if approving of my finally approaching. I swallowed hard, and wiped the sweat from my uninjured palm on my jeans. I counted the petals on the purple flowers on her sheets. I refused to look up.

"So do you…remember…what happened?" Hatori asked.

"…no…" she answered. My heart fluttered again at the closeness of her voice. I wanted to look up. I wanted to see her and face my fears…but fear had me again in its grip.

Her voice had my hopes doing a nosedive. The voice I remembered as being bubbly with joy and happiness was now monotonous, low, and groggy. Depressed. Disbelieving. Dead.

"Oh…Tohru, you were—"

"—Well hey there sleepy head, good morning!" all our heads whipped around to the door, where the smiling doctor and the fat nurse were entering. The nurse frowned, as if displeased at there being four people around the bed. The doctor's bald head was a huge, hilarious contradiction to his hairy mustache, but I found myself incapable of laughter. As they walked over, the nurse brandished her clipboard at us, pushing us back and away from the bed.

"Let's see what we've got here…" the doctor said, bending over Tohru's bed. I turned, seeking my chair, my knees week.

"Kyo?" I whipped around, surprised. It was Tohru that had called me. I froze, my mouth open as I finally saw her.

Her left arm was bandaged and in a sling, pulled tight to her body. Even on her back in the bed, the hospital gown only accentuated her thin, frail body. Her right arm was also heavily bandaged, and the doctor was examining her wraps now. Some of her wraps were bleeding through in spots. The rest of her body was hidden underneath the covers.

There were dark, purple bruises around her neck in the shape of hands and fingers…

Her face was bruised and battered. Cuts had been bandaged but the tiniest ones were left open…

…and her eyes…

I begged myself to look away, but I couldn't.

Our eyes locked, and a shiver of fear ran down my body. As she looked back at me from her bed, those eyes that I remembered as sparkling, bright, and vivaciously green were…empty…lifeless…dull…

"Pardon me," I stumbled back as the nurse shuffled by, breaking my stare. I turned and almost ran back to my chair, my shaking body collapsing into it. My breathing was fast again, and I closed my eyes, her image continually haunting me like a bad movie.

It was everything I feared and more.

Through a fog, I distantly heard the doctor talking. He mentioned her broken arm, and her bandages in need of replacing. He then called for the nurse, and she turned to us.

"Alright, everyone out please," I looked up, feeling the heat of my face, the burning of unshed tears in my eyes. I glared at her. Hands on her hips and fake smile plastered on her face, she was ushering us out.

"Why?" I asked, my voice sharp.

"We need to redo bandages and do a physical examination. Out." She ordered, quite sternly this time.

Hatori, Shigure, and Yuki quickly headed out the door, but it took nearly pushing by the nurse to remove me from the room.

I wondered why that was.

I had faced my fears, and found them to be correct. I had stood before her, had looked her square in the face, and found everything I had feared would be there.

But…despite all that…

…I wanted to stay.

…She needed me…

…Just as I needed her…

"Out!" the nurse said from behind grit teeth. As the door closed behind me I heard the doctor,

"Okay, Tohru, we're going to start the examination, alright?"

"But—" she started. I could hear the fear in her shaking voice, and every fiber in my body willed for me to turn around and run to her.

And then the door shut, and I could hear no more. Visiting hours were over.

**END OF CHAPTER 10**

Okay, so the next one should be up real quick, cuz my mind's just a BUZZING with stuff and its going to be the same as this one, just in Tohru's POV (POV if you don't know, means 'point of view') (jsyk)

So **_PUHLEAZE_** review! It means the world to me and your guys' criticism is the best thing in the world! Didja hate it, love it? Despise me for writing such a terrible chapter? Are tired of all my commas?? Lemme know!

As promised, here it is!

**POLL TIME**:

Question: If you could have any of the following Furuba characters come to life, who would it be?

(There are only five choices because if I do more than that, then there is likely to not be a cohesive answer!!)

LOVE YA!

And I'll answer to everyone who reviews! Thanks!

-inulover411


	12. Visiting Day 1: TPOV

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing; Fruits Basket is property of Natsuki Takaya

**AN:** OKAY! OKAY! I'm **SORRY**! I am seriously sorry about last chapter's poll…idk what happened! The choices were there when I uploaded the document, and then I went to change it and I guess they changes and choices just vanished! POOF! So I'm sorry, and hopefully the next poll will turn out better…

**AN#2**: Thanks again to those who review, I really appreciate it and, for some reason, this story seems to be catching on faster than my other one did…maybe its because (a) the topic is controversial and such, (b) I've grown up and my writing is better and (c)…well…I can't think of a last reason LOL but THANK YOU! Keep reviewing, and the chapters will keep coming!

Onward! ** Basically, its last chapter, but from Tohru's point of view! ** Hope you guys like it…it and the next one are gunna be pretty freaking intense. This is one of the chapters that's rated M just in case—just so you guys know.

I bet I'll get a HELL of a lot of reviews after this one…

**Why Chapter 11: Visiting Day 1: TPOV**

I was floating again in the dark nothingness. Eyes closed I was blind and deaf to the world.

It was so odd…peaceful…warm…

The terrible, haunting memories escaped me. Familiar faces flashed behind my eyelids.

Yuki.

Shigure.

Hatori.

Momiji.

Mom.

Dad.

Kyo.

My heart fluttered like a small butterfly in my chest. His orange hair, his temper, his crooked, embarrassed smile…

With my first heart beat, the darkness began to relinquish me. To release me to the real world. Reality.

My lungs began to burn.

Kyo was laughing, and then he smiled, and said, in a teasing way, "You suck."

My chest and lungs expanded, oxygen finally rushing in and sustaining my pleading lungs. My back began to feel sore, as if I were laying on a hard mattress or something.

I smiled. I could see it all now. So clear was the memory, even though it had happened so long ago.

We had hardly known each other then.

It was like an out of body experience. I was watching the memory again, watching my reactions…watching him.

Stars twinkled brightly in the night sky. The moon flitted out from behind a cloud, shrouding both of us in its cool white luminescence as we sat upon the roof. The tiles creaked as Kyo turned, his eyes glinting with happiness as he recalled his training. Such passion he had.

He grinned and clenched his fist, holding it up in the air so as to show me better.

"Now, you have to put your whole body into it," he said.

I heard someone humming, and I recognized the song.

My mother used to sing it whenever I woke up from a nightmare. I would run to her, crying and afraid. I would crawl into bed, and she would wrap her arms around me, hold me tight, and sing me the song of cherry blossoms.

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_On Meadow-hills and mountains _

_As far as you can see. _

_Is it a mist, or clouds? _

_Fragrant in the morning sun. _

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_Flowers in full bloom. _

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_Across the Spring sky, _

_As far as you can see. _

_Is it a mist, or clouds? _

_Fragrant in the air. _

_Come now, come, _

_Let's look, at last! _

It was a silly song. But the melody of it all never failed to lull me back into a peaceful sleep.

My heart ached, remembering briefly my encounter with my mother and father…of my being brought back from death.

The person humming was singing a different version, her voice too high and slow. It was almost annoying. I switched back to my memory of the roof.

"No, no, no, you gotta do it like this, see?" I could hardly hear him over her humming, but I watched, my heart racing again, as he grabbed my hand with a soft, persistent force, and gently folded my fingers into a fist. He repeated the motion, and I copied. He smiled.

There was a machine beeping somewhere.

Then there were voices. I could hear only incoherent muffles; the words did not reach me. I frowned. Why couldn't I just dream of him without intervention? Their jumbled words were drowning out my memory…

…my memory of him.

He laughed again and I could only watch. The sound from the memory was lost, masked by the other noises. He talked emphatically about his days in the mountains, and his training. He turned to look at me again, and I blushed. As the moon passed behind a cloud, however, my blush was hidden. He had never seen it.

Probably never noticed…

The image changed, and I was watching a slideshow. A soundless replay of the time we'd spent together…playing cards, cooking, him holding my hand, drying my tears, mouthing soundless apologies…

"So I guess you found Kyo, huh?" I recognized that voice…it was Shigure. I could sense someone leaning over me; I could hear her heavy breathing over the beeping of the machine.

I willed my eyes to open.

A great soreness came over me. Everything was sore. Every fiber and muscle in my body ached and pained. As I became more aware of my body, I noticed that my wrists twinged in pain with every heartbeat. My left arm was twisted up tightly to my chest, and I could not move it from its vice-like position.

I heard Shigure's voice again, _"So I guess you found Kyo, huh?" _I struggled to open my eyes…I wanted to find him…to see him…

Like a fire burning within me, I needed to see him…to see his face…hear his voice…

My fingers twitched.

A soft groan escaped my lips as I forced my eyes open, my whole body aching in protest. I was on my back, staring up at the ceiling. My eyelids were heavy with sleep, but I remained stubborn, afraid that if I closed my eyes, I would never find him.

I jumped as a woman's face suddenly appeared in my line of sight. I fidgeted as she leaned over me. She was rather large and old, her face wrinkled and pudgy. Her hair was a bright, fake blonde. She had probably been trying to cover up some gray hair and had gone overboard. She was in green scrubs that did not hide her rolls of fat. She smiled, and I found myself staring at the hole in her mouth where a tooth was missing.

"Well hey there, sweetie," she said. I tried to pull myself into a sitting position, ignorant to my body as it screamed in protest. The nurse gently pushed me back down, shaking her head. "Hey, hey, easy now just stay down alright? You've been sleeping a long time and you're very hurt. Do you know where you are?"

No words came to mind. I remained silent, trembling slightly. It seemed overwhelming, everywhere I looked I saw machines, tubes, bags of clear and colored fluids…

I jumped again as more faces appeared, crowding my bedside. Claustrophobia began to set in as I recognized Hatori, Shigure, and Yuki all crowding my field of vision. The nurse turned and frowned, scoffing.

"Easy there, we don't want to overwhelm her,"

Kyo was not there. Disappointment set in.

They all stared down at me, the bright lights on the ceiling silhouetting their facial features. Each of them had a tired, solemn appearance. In each of their eyes I could see deep sadness, pain, and anxiety. Shigure attempted a smile, but the other too remained silent and expressionless. Yuki and Hatori were on her right while Shigure stood at the foot of my bed. That was all I could see.

"So, sweetie, how are you feeling?" my eyes flashed back to the nurse's face.

I was about to answer, when I froze, her words replaying. My eyes dilated. My heart rate increased.

I trembled, and his voice echoed in my ears.

"_Hey there, __sweetie__," _

Shakily, I reached up, wanting to hide my face from view. My hand darted before my eyes and I gasped.

My entire arm was bandaged. Particularly my wrists. The bandages there were pink with blood.

"No, no, no honey don't rub your face," the nurse cooed. She grabbed my arm and gently replaced it on the bed. I stared past her as fear rippled through me.

The bandages…the blood…

Yuki made a sudden movement, bringing me sharply back to reality as he ducked out of view. Behind Hatori I could see a window, and I wished I could go outside and escape this tiny room.

I still didn't see Kyo.

"How are you feeling?" Hatori asked. My eyes returned to the ceiling and I counted spots on the ceiling tiles.

How was I?

"Fine," the words escaped my lips before I could catch them. I could hear the lie in my own voice and I could tell by the way Hatori cast his eyes downward, that he had heard my dishonesty as well.

It was a lie, the usual, thrown out response. Just a gimmick.

The room was silent except for the beeping of my machine.

And suddenly a question came to mind.

"Why am I here?" my words were still slurred with sleep…I almost sounded drunk. Hatori frowned, his forehead creasing slightly.

"Don't you remember what happened?" he asked.

I trembled again.

"…no, I meant—"

"—Kyo and I found you. I called the ambulance and Kyo stayed with you until the paramedics arrived." Yuki answered, understanding my original question. "Don't you remember?"

"Kyo?" I asked. I frowned slightly. Why had his name come so quickly to my lips? I could have said anything, but I was asking for him?

Why?

"Yes, he's here, too, hiding in the corner," Shigure answered, glancing over at the opposite corner—out of my line of sight.

He sounded angry.

They were waiting for an answer. I stumbled, searching for words.

"…don't remember…" I said. Yuki nodded, as if he didn't believe me.

And he had every right not to.

It was a total, blatant lie. Why even now I was shaking in fear, hearing his cruel laughter ringing in my ears, seeing his twisted, menacing grin…

I remembered everything.

"Kyo, why don't you come over here and say hello," I glanced at Shigure, who had a smug look on his face. My heart began to race.

But not because of the memories.

As terrible as they were, they faded and were replaced by new worries.

"Uh…" I heard Kyo's voice, laced with uncertainty and fear.

What would happen, when he saw me?

Would he ever look at me the same way?

Would he ever look at me at all?

Would things be different between us?

Could he ever love me?

A chair groaned and I heard the sound of his footsteps approaching. I pulled my blanket up higher around me, trying to cover myself. I hated this. I didn't want him to see me like this, so broken, bloody, and bandaged…

…not like this…

"So do you…remember…what happened?" Hatori asked. The footsteps stopped, and I kept my eyes glued on Hatori's face, refusing to look anywhere near where I knew Kyo was now standing.

"…no…" I lied.

I couldn't let them know…I couldn't…

"Oh…Tohru, you were—"

"—Well hey there sleepy head, good morning!" I turned around and looked at the door, where the large nurse (who I never noticed had left) in green scrubs was entering with a bald doctor. She frowned and they both made their way to my bed. The nurse brandished her clipboard, and the faces vanished. I heard four sets of feet walking away.

One of them was Kyo.

"Let's see what we've got here," the doctor said, checking and prodding both me and the machines. As he bent over me, my eyes widened….there was a man over me…

"Kyo?"

I didn't stop to wonder why I had called for him. I heard the fear in my voice. So did the doctor, apparently, as a sad look came over his face and he quickly backed up to absentmindedly tap my IV bag. I looked up and searched, desperate.

And there he was, frozen, mid-step, and halfway back to his chair.

The look on his face made me want to die.

His mouth hung open, his face was pale. He was shaking, and his eyes were wide with fear. Our eyes locked, and I realized that my fears were true…

The nurse pushed him out of the way and I stared at the ceiling again, my heart breaking, eyes burning again with tears. Things were different now…things would never be the same between us…and love…I almost chuckled at the sad irony…love had, and would, always be an impossibility between us.

The doctor was talking, but I couldn't hear him clearly. A tear slid down my cheek.

"Out!" I looked up, surprised. The room was empty except for the nurse and the doctor. All I could see was Kyo's back as he was forced out of the room by the nurse. He glanced back, and my heart jumped. I frowned.

"Okay, Tohru, we're going to start the examination, alright?"

"But—"

The door shut and the nurse returned to my bedside, smiling again. She nodded at the doctor and pulled back the covers. She helped me up into a sitting position, and I could only look at them in fear.

And so the next two hours passed. I was silent, numb. I listened to all their demands, did what I was told.

I flinched whenever I was touched. Cringed at the smell of blood and dirty bandages when they were changed.

But then the doctor gently asked me to pull up my robe, saying he needed to look. Terror overtook me completely and I shook, tears spilling over uncontrollably. The nurse politely asked if it would be better if she performed the exam, and I agreed with a nod. She helped me to the bathroom and I cried as she examined me. The soreness I felt down there was indescribable.

I needed help standing, and I couldn't walk properly. I had to waddle everywhere, unable to withstand the pain all over my body.

The pain slowly increased as time passed and I suffered in silence, and the pain was not lessened until the end of the exams when I was given more morphine. That helped, and slowly my agonizing jolts of pain melted away into a low level of overall soreness.

I noticed that they had been taking notes, carefully examining my reactions the entire time. The doctor now knew not to make sharp movements, as I would jump and startle. Here in their professional presence, it was hard to hide.

They knew that I remembered. That I was scared, terrified…

Another nurse brought me food, a glass of water, a knife, fork, and a spoon. I had no appetite, so the doctor left it on my bedside table.

I was both relieved and terrified when they finally left. I was relieved to have all the prodding, the poking, and the questions I did not answer done with. I knew the exams and interrogations would continue the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that as well.

But as the room emptied, my heart began to race. In the silence of the room, I was alone.

I was alone with the memories.

I began to shake.

_"Hey there, sweetie."_

A sob suddenly escaped my lips, my chest paining from the action.

Tears spilled over again, and I collapsed, curling into a ball on the bed. I screamed into the pillow as the memories returned.

…I was hearing the sound of his pocket knife flipping open; hearing it slashing fabric and skin alike; seeing its blade, covered in my blood, glinting in the light of the far-off lamp post.

My stomach turned. Waves of nausea hit me. I leaned over the side of the bed and vomited.

The sound of my heart monitor, now beeping erratically, was drowned out by the sound of his heavy breathing. His panting. His insults…

"_You're such a stupid little girl. And you're ugly, too…too plain…just a whore," _I heard him mocking, laughing as he pushed me back to the ground. I sobbed again, curling up into a tighter ball.

"_You're mine now, cutie," _

I screamed again, biting the thin pillow. My body ached despite the morphine. I sobbed, twisting in the sheets. Every fiber in my body was paining in misery.

This was torture.

His thick, calloused fingers were wrapping around my neck. I was choking, crying, begging…dying...

I was so alone.

"_I'm going to make you beg for death, you little whore,"_

Alone.

With only the memories of him.

I looked up. At the bedside table.

I pulled myself from the bed, hearing his laughter again…feeling him on top of me…I grabbed the knife and I shuffled to the bathroom, sobbing, my memories torturing me. The room was a blur. The walls vanished. The chairs dissapeared. I was seeing only that night. Only him.

He was hitting me again, calling me ugly…a whore…a dirty, stupid girl…

He was talking about the other girls, and how he killed them…

…how he would kill me…

I locked the door behind me and sunk to the floor, knife in hand. It was cool, metal, sharp…

I heard myself begging for him to stop, begging for mercy, my voice drowned out by the thunder and rain. He grunted and slapped me, shifting his hips farther inside of me. I winced.

"Stop…" I moaned.

"_You're mine."_

I wrestled my broken arm out of its sling, ignoring the pain. The bandages on both my wrists were loose, and I pulled them off, tears sliding down my bruised and battered face.

I stared down at my sutured wrists…they were beyond bruised from the shapes of his fingers, and the stitches to close the cuts had made the skin scarlet red in irritation.

The knife glinted in the florescant light of the bathroom. Its handle fit perfectly into my small, bandaged hand…

If this was life…

Then I didn't want to live.

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_On Meadow-hills and mountains _

_As far as you can see. _

_Is it a mist, or clouds? _

I raised the knife.

_Fragrant in the morning sun. _

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_Flowers in full bloom. _

_Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, _

_Across the Spring sky, _

_As far as you can see. _

I positioned my wrist. Maybe it would be fast. I could still hear him laughing. No more of this torture…I couldn't do it…I couldn't…

_Is it a mist, or clouds? _

_Fragrant in the air. _

I'm sorry mother…I'm sorry father…you told me to be strong…

_Come now, come, _

But I can't…

_Let's look, at last! _

And I swung the knife down with one last sob.

**END OF CHAPTER 11**

OMFG! Seriously!? I can't even believe what I wrote! A cliffhanger my friends, a cliffhanger.

What did you guys think?

Oh, and the song is a Japanese folk song entitled 'cherry blossoms' or 'sakura'


	13. The Morning After

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in any way related to Fruits Basket.

**Author's Note:** SO! Well, I must say that I am exceedingly proud that I almost have enough reviews (3 away!) to top my other story! Huzzah! I'll end up deleting that whole other story though; all its problems bother me exponentially.

**Author's Note #2**: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate the feedback guys! Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing, k?

**Author's Note #3:** sorry this is up so late, fanfic was having some uploading problems...**NOT** MY FAULT!

FOREWARNING: Kyo's probably going to be a little OOC this chapter…my apologies…but I mean, Tohru DID try and kill herself last chapter…yes, I admit it. She TRIED, which means that she didn't succeed. Sorry to have blown that…

But it seems that you guys, for the most part, disliked (?) the cliff hanger? The last chapter was hard for me to write, and it was great to see that people were appreciating all the detail and such…and the cherry blossom song, well…I needed a song, and it was one of those that fit as a lullaby the best…so I used it…it might come back later…

SO! Enough chit-chat, shall we move on to the next--

Kyo:--WTF, man.

Me: I'm a WOMAN!

Kyo: Fine. WTF, woman. You've got some sick, terrible, psycho mind, making all this terrible stuff happen to Tohru.

Me: Ehehehe…well…tragedy is easier for me to write than happiness. I mean, did you expect me to make everything all happy-go-lucky-ponies and flowers? Seriously?

Kyo: Well it didn't have to be Tohru.

Me: Would you rather it have been YOU that was raped?

Kyo: NO! OMG what is you're problem?

Me: you're scaring the readers, Kyo…

Kyo: I'll do more than scare them…I'll kill you!

Me: NO! Kyo, wait! *cowers in fear* I can tell you how the story ends!

Kyo: WHY? You'll probably make it horribly depressing!

Me: No, no I mean the ending of the sequel!

Kyo: Is it horribly depressing?

Me: You know, you can be horribly depressing sometimes…and to think, I ever had a fan crush on you!

Kyo: WTF?!

Me: But beside the point, the ending is NOT horribly depressing, would you like to hear it or not?

Kyo: IDC. I mean seriously, what else do I have to do.

ME: You could be lamenting about the death of Tohru's mom, and your dad and your horribly depressing life…

Kyo: You better be quiet…

Me: Or you could be crying over your inability to defeat Yuki.

Kyo: The hell!

Me: That's not a sentence…

Kyo: I can beat that sissy rat boy any day I want to!

Yuki: Then prove it.

Kyo: The hell, where did you come from?

Me: Wow, Kyo, you still are incapable of forming complete sentences…I'm amazed.

Yuki: Isn't it obvious? I came in the front door. Honestly, you're such a stupid cat.

Me: Boys! Boys! Let's be reasonable now!

Kyo: DIE RAT!

Yuki: You first, cat.

Me: DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW THE STORY ENDS?!

*everyone pauses, mid-fight*

Yuki: Well, yes…but more importantly, we want you to get on with this chapter.

Kyo: Yeah…so help me, she better not be dead…

Me: Did you not read the opening credits?! She's not dead! GEEZ!

Yuki: *sighs* so how does the story end, inulover411?

Me: you really wanna know?

Kyo: No.

Me: WELL, too bad, here goes! *everybody leans in and I whisper the ending*

Kyo and Yuki: *total shock* OMFG THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

Kyo: **REALLY?**

Yuki: You're JOKING!

Kyo: **SERIOULSY?!**

Me: YES! The ending is—

And on to the next chapter! After that commentary with the co-stars, I should think you're ready for it?

OKAY enough joking around it is back to business! **forewarning: not my fave chapter**

**Why Chapter 12: The Morning After**

Sunday.

6:48 A.M.

The rising sun peaked over the distant mountain ridge, its bright, warm rays reflecting off rivers and ponds, cascading through tree branches.

Flowers shed their midnight dew, opening, reaching for the light, their life. Creatures stirred from their warm nests and hustled about, chattering loudly as the search for breakfast began.

Birds awoke and, with a violent shiver, shook the sleep from their feathers. They flitted from branch to branch, their calls echoing through the forest like an alarm clock.

The world moved on, untroubled, but yet, he remained. He met the sunrise from his room. Face expressionless, eyes dark and troubled, he stared from his window emotionless as he watched a new day begin. He sat unmoving on his bed, sheets and pillow lying nearby, blissfully unaware of his messy, disheveled hair, the scattered, broken things littered about on the floor.

Books had been snapped, sheets ripped, glass shattered in his blind fury.

Unlike the forest, he had not slept. Exaughsted as he was, Kyo remained afraid to close his eyes. For behind closed eyes he saw her mangled, broken body; her empty eyes staring back at him. He smelled the iodine, the bloody bandages, the hospital. Her voice, lifeless and dull, haunted him endlessly and left him shaking.

His mind drifted back to last night, and he could do nothing as the memory came upon him. He curled into a ball, waiting, waiting for the memory to be gone.

(The previous night…)

The phone was ringing downstairs.

No one answered.

He was reading some classic novel…well, trying to read…trying to keep himself distracted.

The phone rang again.

He gave up, casting his book carelessly aside, and crawled under the covers of his bed. The moon glinted through his windows, bathing him in its cool, silvery light.

He kicked the covers aside, undecided, suddenly hot, and headed to the window. Resting his head against the wooden sill he gazed out towards the town. Towards the hospital, to where he knew she was.

After they had returned home, Kyo had locked himself in his room, refusing both company and food, despite his hunger.

He had drifted in and out of sleep, only to be awoken each time by riveting nightmares.

And since they had left the hospital, Kyo had been filled with a terrible sense of dread…something was wrong…something bad was going to happen…

It was very late. Midnight? One? Two?

The phone rang once more and someone finally picked it up-silencing its high pitched chime.

His stomach rumbled with hunger, his hair itched for a shower. Somewhere, amidst all this pain and misery, something in his brain was telling him to do his homework. He scoffed and frowned. As if. He rolled back from the window and collapsed onto his bed, praying for quiet, empty dreams.

School. He was suppossed to go back tomorrow just like everyone else. He sighed. What would tomorrow bring? He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Could he, would he go back? He thought of Uo and Hana…did they know? Who would tell them? Would it be him?

He doubted he could even tell them what had happened.

Kyo closed his eyes, listening to the conversation downstairs through the thin walls of the house.

Shigure had answered the phone. He sounded groggy, tired, distressed. But as the conversation changed, so did his tone.

He became alert, his voice rising and falling with anxiety and worry. He paced.

When he finally hung up, he paused. He then made his way to the stairs. They creaked under him as he slowly ascended each step. Shigure was walking slowly. Kyo couldn't tell if it was because he was tired, or dreading his trip upstairs.

He knocked on Yuki's door.

"Yuki, wake up and come downstairs." Kyo frowned and opened his eyes. His forehead creased. Why did Shigure sound so upset? So scared?

Shigure came to Kyo's door next, but didn't knock, as if he knew that his younger cousin was still awake.

"Kyo?"

No answer.

"Kyo, I need you to come downstairs."

"Why?" It was more of a demand than a question. Even Kyo heard the acidic annoyance in his voice.

"I have something I need to tell you."

"So? Why don't you just go away already…"

"Kyo. It's important." And with that, Shigure left and headed downstairs. Kyo remained motionless, no effort exerted to follow his cousin.

He closed his eyes again and breathed deeply. He could hear Yuki rising, shifting about his room for clothes. His feeling of dread had not left him. And something about Shigure's voice, the tense fear written in his words, had his spine tingling, the hair on the back of his neck standing on edge.

Reluctantly he rose from bed. As he left his room, he could see Yuki slowly heading downstairs ahead of him. Kyo followed, for once feeling no need to try and beat him. The steps were trivial anyway. And he honestly didn't care.

He ran a hand through his greasy hair, a little put off by the feeling, and agreed with himself that he'd shower in the morning...if he felt like it. His muscles were sore, his body ached. Yuki disappeared into the dining room. The door was open, and although the rest of the house was dark and silent, the room's light was on and a tense quietness flooded from the tiny room.

As his bare feet touched the cool, hardwood bottom of the stairway, he heard someone talking.

"What is it Shigure?" Yuki asked. His voice was still heavy with sleep.

No response. Kyo continued on, trying to compose his face into an expression of indifference. He doubted its convincingness. He was never very good at hiding things…

…and that included how much he loved Tohru.

But then he paused.

Did he still love her?

"Kyo!" he startled at the shout and turned toward the speaker. Seated at the table were Shigure, Yuki, and - much to his surprise - Hatori. Had he stayed the night? Kyo hadn't heard the sound of a car pulling up…

Kyo took his seat, his gaze flickering to Yuki. Still in pajamas, hair just as dirty and uncombed as his own. Hunched over, arms crossed on the table, he didn't look up as he traced patterns of the wood's grain with his index finger.

Next he looked at Hatori, who was looking elsewhere, his face expressionless and tired.

Kyo glanced at Shigure, who quickly averted his eyes. He was uncharacteristically pale, his eyes rimmed with dark circles. It surprised Kyo, just how much older he looked.

Shigure swallowed, keeping his eyes on the table, hands resting lifelessly in his lap.

"Well…now that we're all here…" he started, choosing his words with the utmost care. Hatori interrupted.

"I got a call from the hospital just about an hour ago, and I called Shigure immediately and came over."

"Well, what is it?" Yuki asked. Kyo's body stiffened—the hospital had called? Was this about—

"It's about Tohru," Shigure said, answering Kyo's unspoken question. Kyo's heart began to race. He felt hot, sticky in his tee shirt and shorts.

"She…Tohru, well…" Kyo clenched his fists, ignoring the pain as his nails dug into his flesh. The hand with which he had destroyed the mirror had been tended to by Hatori. Hatori had said nothing as he had pulled small shards of glass from Kyo's hand; sutured slits closed, and wrapped his injury. It was as if he had nothing to say, as if the cuts, the slits of glass told the whole story.

The room was silent as Shigure fumbled for words. Hatori took over, picking up on Shigure's obvious distress. He sighed, sadly.

"She tried to kill herself," Yuki and Kyo gasped simultaneously. Kyo's eyes immediately flickered over to Shigure's face, intently searching it for even a trace of dishonesty, for proof that they were lying, that this was some horrible, sick, twisted joke.

He only found truth, and sadness.

"W…what?" Yuki asked, barely able to speak. There was no hiding the fear, the shock written across his face. Kyo figured he looked no better.

"A nurse came to the room around 9, to gather Tohru's food and check on her. When she wasn't in her bed, the nurse tried the bathroom, and found the door was locked.

Kyo silently begged. No. No, no, please no…

"The nurse screamed for help and a janitor apparently knocked the door open. They rushed in and they found her—"

"—Hatori," Shigure snapped, his voice a clear warning.

"They should know," Hatori answered back, challenging Shigure. They stared at each other until Shigure finally looked away in defeat.

Hatori turned back to Yuki and Kyo and, with a professional, expressionless look on his face, continued.

"They found her on the floor, passed out in a pool of her own blood. She had tried to slit her wrists again with the dinner knife the nurse brought with her food after we left."

Kyo could not escape, could not deny the tears. He bent over, barely able to contain himself as images bombarded him.

He was imagining her, her eyes wide and blank as she lay upon the crisp white tile floor. Blood seeped from everywhere, drenching her thin white gown, staining her pale skin, matting her hair.

A tear fell, and her eyes closed, a sad blissful smile on her lips.

He could only listen as Hatori continued.

"She was nearly dead when they found her. They took her up to surgery, gave transfusions, and put her in a special part of the hospital."

"Special?" Yuki croaked.

"For those who have tried to commit suicide," Hatori answered.

The room was silent then.

"Things are worse than we thought..." Shigure said. Hatori's face crumpled and lost its look of composure as he too slumped over the table. Shigure mimicked him, crossing his fingers and resting his head on them.

"But why?" Yuki asked. "Why would she…I mean…she wouldn't…she…"

"She probably just couldn't handle it, couldn't deal with all the suffering, the memories…"

"But still, to do such a thing…I don't…I don't understand…" Tears were brimming in his eyes as he spoke.

"None of us could possibly understand," Kyo answered, his voice breaking. Everyone turned to look at him, surprised. He stared back, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks "It's completely pointless for us to say 'oh, but she would never do that,' 'I don't understand'…we're so STUPID!" He was nearly yelling. Something inside him had snapped."This big terrible thing has happened to her, and it's not fair for us to judge her, to try and reason with her." He remembered Yuki saying something like that earlier when he had been hiding out in the bathroom. Now the tables were turned...he was the one lecturing now. "She's been destroyed, inside and out. And all that we can do now is be there, hold her hand, and…and hope she gets better…" his voice lowered as he finished.

Everyone was silent as they analyzed Kyo's words. Shigure nodded.

"He's right."

"Yes…but I wonder,"

"What?"

"What can any of us do to help her?"

(Present)

Kyo sighed. He'd been thinking about it all night…thinking…about everything…

He got up and headed downstairs.

He found Shigure in his study and their eyes met. Shigure removed his glasses.

"Yes?"

"I want to go see her." Kyo said, his voice firm with determination.

"Kyo…" Shigure warned, shaking his head. But Kyo wasn't having that.

"I want to go see her." He repeated.

"Not today. Her actions will have people coming in all day and bothering her…we don't want to stress her more…maybe next week, after she's had a chance to calm down and get some help."

"I'm not waiting."

"Kyo, be reasonable," Shigure sighed, frowning. He closed his book with a sharp snap and got up, heading to the bookcase. He had his back turned to Kyo as he shuffled about, searching for something to whet his literature appetite.

"…maybe I can help her…" Kyo answered back, his voice strained as he spoke through grit teeth.

"Kyo, we all know how you felt about Tohru, but you shouldn't see her…it may be more detrimental to her…and to you…besides, the doctor have ordered no visitors allowed for a week, and I've been told she's not talking."

"So?"

"SO, Kyo, I'm saying wait. Let the doctors try and help her."

"Doctor's don't know fuck."

"Hey!" Shigure yelled, anger written across his face. Cursing was one thing, but the f-word was never said in his house.

"They don't have any idea how she feels!" Kyo screamed.

"And what makes you think YOU do?!" Shigure challenged, his eyes wild.

"I…I…" Kyo started, hiding his eyes behind his hair as he gathered himself. He changed tactics."I kind of understand," he spoke more softly now. "…not completely, of course…but I'm…I'm the cat…the dirty one, the one everyone looks down on, picks on, pities..." That was certainly true, and he hoped Shigure would buy it.

"That may be so, but Kyo, that isn't really what you were going to say, was it?" Shigure answered, calmly taking his seat and carefully eyeing him from across the room.

_"Tohru, didn't you used to say you wished __you__ could be a cat? Shigure teased, pointing back at Kyo and Yuki.  
"Yeah, uh-huh!" She smiled, glancing at the two as they fought. She looked confused, a little overwhelmed, but smiling.  
"What's it like, seeing the real thing?" He smiled.  
"Right! It's the cat from the Chinese zodiac, like in the story!" Her face lit up. Admiration seemed to emmanate from her. __"Yes it's hard to believe, I know, and I agree the phrase "cat like reflexes" doesn't really apply to him, the way he let you fall on him like that. But he is a cat, albeit clumsier then most. Surprising really, considering the amount of martial arts training he's had. I'm sure he'd tell you the same thing himself if he wasn't so busy brooding like a child…"_ …Kyo had felt like such an idiot there in front of her. So stupid, so weak…but she loved him anyways…

"_Mom taught me that people's differences are something to celebrate. When I thought of all the different shapes of human kindness -- imagining them as round or square...I got really excited. Your kindness is like a candle Kyo. I can feel it light up, and I just want to smile. It's that kind of kindness…"_Kyo smiled, remembering her making rice balls for the festival. She looked so cute in her apron with her hair pulled back. He had laughed when she complimented on his supposed 'rice ball making skills.' He remembered thinking she was being dumb...but her words…strangely enough….he had felt comforted by them…

"Why do you really think you can help her?" It was Yuki, awakened by their shouts. Kyo bit his lip, heart hammering in his chest.

"_I want us to stay together!"_ He remembered, only too clearly, her crying, begging as she grasped at his monster self_. "I'm afraid…I'm afraid of you right now, Kyo…"_ and then he was wrapping his arms around her, in a desperate hug, as morning light broke. A warm feeling had spread through him as he hugged her, crying…

He hadn't recognized what that feeling was for a long time.

"Well?" Yuki demanded.

But then he remembered her, lying there in the hospital bed, her body broken, mangled, and he cringed. His heart hurt just remembering her like that…and then he remembered her saying she loved him too as he held her in the rain that night at the cemetery… The images brought nothing but pain, but Kyo also had realized something that morning as he had sat watching the day begin...

"I love her." Kyo finally said. And he meant it. He had realized that, no matter what happened; no matter what anyone said or did…he would always feel that way. The warm feeling spread through him again. He felt complete, right having finally admitted it.

Shigure nodded. "Well it's about time you finally said it, Kyo." Kyo looked up, surprised at the smile on his older cousin's face.

He smiled, too.

"You need a shower, Kyo." Shigure said, laughing.

And so it was agreed. One week. That was all that he had to wait. And then he could see her again. Only this time, Kyo knew that he would be ready. Afraid as he was to see her, he would go. He would do whatever it took to help her. Even if the love he felt for her was never returned, he would do anything. Anything, just to make her smile.

**END OF CHAPTER 12**

AN: Okay, I hate this chapter. I hate it. HATE it. Feel free to flame. I did what I could but I'm in writer's block and I'm super stressed.

SORRY…

-Inulover411


	14. Rehab Week 1

**Disclaimer:** Again, I own nothing. NOTHING. Need I speak in different language?!

**AN #1**: Synopsis of last chapter: The gang found out that Tohru tried to kill herself, and Kyo realized and then admitted that he still loves her.

**AN#2**: FOR THOSE WHO WILL GET CONFUSED:

**Friday** night—Tohru was raped

Early **Saturday** morning—the guys found Tohru

Midday **Saturday**—Tohru woke up

Evening **Saturday**—Tohru tried to kill herself

**Sunday** morning—they gang heard what happened.

NEXT Monday: they can go see her

OKAY! There is the official timeline! This chapter has a lot to do with time, and this is how the last few days of the story worked out. If there is anywhere in this story previously where I have differentiated from this timeline, I apologize. This it the OFFICIAL time line. Just to clear that up y'all.

**AN#3:** WOW! Thanks again for all your support and reviews you guys! Really appreciate it and I apologize for taking so long to post this chapter…my bad…I kind of struggled with the chapter a bit.

Onward!

**Why Chapter 13—Rehab Week 1**

Monday.

People talking everywhere. I can't escape them as they bombard me with questions, with their opinions. Some voices are harsh, others worried, others sweet with fake sympathy and concern.

People come and go constantly. They wait, patiently at first, but leave eventually, frustrated. I watch them go wordlessly. I have nothing to say.

I do not sleep. I do not eat. I only stare at my hands, at my wrists…

Tuesday.

The attention is suffocating. People hustle about. It's hard to focus. I'm ignorant of those who speak to me. I wince at the painful prodding and poking. I ignore the pleading, the questioning. Their words float through the air, mesh, and fade into an unpleasant hum.

Pain returns. Morphine helps, and the lack of sleep coupled with heavy pain killers weigh heavily on my eyelids. I fall back, eyes closing, and succumb to sleep.

I'm running. He's following. His laughter echoes through my head, ringing in my ears. I trip and fall to the ground. Heart pounding, I search for help. But I'm all alone in this alley…all alone…the darkness closes in, the streetlamp seems miles away.

"Hey there sweetie," I flip onto my back and whimper. Thunder booms deafeningly overhead, and lightning illuminates his horrid, crooked face.

He laughs and grabs my wrists.

He leans over me, fumbling with his pants. I'm backed up, pressed against the wall.

Someone is screaming. I'm shaking, crying.

His fingertips curve around my face, pulling me closer…

And as I slowly resurface and return to reality, I see the nurses huddled over me, shaking me awake, and I realize that I'm the one who's screaming.

Wednesday.

There's always someone watching. With hawk-like eyes, pen and clipboard in hand they sit across from me, examining me like I'm some sort of alien. They take turns every few hours, watching me as I wordlessly watch them.

It's noon. The large elderly nurse wheels in the food on a trolley. I bring my legs up and rest my head on my knees through the sheets, ignoring her as she sets food on my table. I numbly take a look around the room.

Everything is bright--too colorful and cheery. The room smells of iodine and perfume. The bright, pink striped wallpaper is peeling. Nurses, doctors, and visitors bustle in and out, and they all flash me looks of pity.

Tears well in my eyes, but I do nothing to hide them.

Will I forever be looked upon this way? As someone to be pitied? Someone who has lost everything, and was crazy enough to try to take her own life? Will I always be watched, labeled as insane? Unstable? My body numbly shakes with silent sobs.

There are other patients here, in this room. They walk by occasionally, to go outside or whatever, and they look at me. Our eyes meet, and it is only then that I actually feel something.

Those in the gowns, with the same special red wrist tag that I also wear, stare at me with looks of understanding. Of pain and suffering. Empty, accepting looks…

I stare back emotionlessly, aware that the emptiness I see in their eyes is matched in my own.

People talk. People ask.

I have nothing to say.

Thursday.

Another night of fitful sleep. Always running. Always screaming.

Food is placed on my table by a thin black nurse. She takes a seat beside me, pen poised above her clipboard. She's young and she watches me intently, as if expecting some response. As if she thinks that I'll talk to her, even though I have talked to no one.

The smell of the food fans my way.

I lean over and retch, my eyes stinging.

Friday

My body aches with weakness and pain. My morphine dosage is increased and I watch as it drips through my IV.

Some of the doctors are worried. I've lost weight. My inability to keep things down has wreaked havoc on my body.

They start me on some IV nutrition thing. I don't really care. The smell of food makes me nauseous anyway.

Nurses periodically take me to the bathroom. One stays with me. Always watching.

Thinking has been my only hobby as of late. The old Tohru would have gotten up, walked about, and made friends with people.

But then again, that Tohru died.

I begin to question everything about life.

Why me?

Why did it have to be me?

Had I done something wrong?

Was I not a good friend?

Was I not a good daughter?

Why did I survive?

Why couldn't I just have died?!

Death had seemed so close, so attainable, so desired…but now…

…after what I had done…I had been brought back again. And it seemed so cruel. So unfair.

I had wanted to die. I had wanted to close my eyes and never see again. I had wanted to forget; to pass on and leave this world behind.

But no.

I pull the blanket over me as the call for 'lights out' goes out. People settle in their own beds. Goodnights and goodbyes are said. TV's switch off. Visitors leave.

The room is silent.

Someone sneezes, and I jump in surprise. The night nurse settles into her seat, magazine in hand. She vigilantly watches over me and the others all night. It's always the same nurse, too…I wonder if she has a husband or a family to go home to.

If so, why would she come here and watch us every night?

I roll over. I listen to the machine beeping, watch it as the lines rise and fall to the beating of my heart. Eventually the beeping becomes methodic and soothing, and I find my eyelids closing.

I wonder if I'll wake up screaming again…

The dream is typical. I'm running again, panting as I try to escape. His laughter follows me, mocking me as I fall to the ground. I again look up for help, but find myself trapped and all alone in this endless alley.

Here come the tears. I flip over on my back and he's leaning over me. He's touching me, grabbing at my shirt.

I whimper, praying for the end…

…but then it changes.

Something hits him. He lets out a yell. His eyes roll back in his hand and he falls to the ground, dead. Blood gushes from his head, from his eyes, from his mouth…

I look up, shaking and crying, searching for my savior.

A boy with bright orange hair stands there, fist raised.

The rain stops. The lighting changes. His whole body is illuminated. He glows.

He smiles and stretches out his hand. I'm mesmerized by the kindness, by the love in his eyes. I see no pity there.

He frowns, and at first I think I'm at fault, that I've done something wrong. But then he laughs and kneels down, face to face with me.

My heart is racing. Butterflies flutter wildly in my stomach. His hand is still outstretched.

"Well, aren't you coming?" Kyo asks. I smile and gingerly take his hand, happy tears spilling over.

He pulls me swiftly to my feet and I find I'm having a hard time breathing as he wraps his arms around me in loving embrace. He's so warm. I settle into his arms.

"Come on, Tohru," he says, pulling back to look at me.

"What?"

"You can't stay here forever you know."

"But…" I pause, unsure. And then he's leaning in, his face so close our noses touch. I feel a warm blush spreading across my cheeks and I try to hide my face. He grabs my chin with restrained strength, forcing me to look at him. His breath fans my face lightly, and I'm tongue-tied.

"Please," he begs. "Come back to me."

And very softly, his lips touch mine.

I jolt awake, my breathing ragged, as the lights flip on. It's morning. I'm dizzy and blushing. I gather myself, ignoring the doctor as he scolds the night nurse for sleeping, ignoring the others as the day begins…

I'm left alone, reliving my wonderful dream.

I dream of the alley no more.

Saturday (morning)(after the dream)

"Good morning Tohru," the doctor with a mustache says, walking in with a fake smile plastered on his face. He doesn't look at me as he intently checks the machine. He doesn't expect an answer.

"G..G..good mor..morning…" I stutter. The sound of my voice freezes him, and he stares at me in surprise, dropping his pen in the process.

Saturday (afternoon).

Word that I've spoken has spread fast, but I'm still reluctant to talk as new faces bombard me. Doctors and psychiatrists attend to me all day, intently trying to get me to speak. The words are few and the people eventually leave, satisfied and happy, believing that I'm 'on the right path.'

I'm finally alone and I take a deep breath, ignoring the painful protest of my ribs. I remembered my primary doctor talking to me earlier this week, explaining what was physically wrong with me. He had said that…he…had tried to kill me by slitting my wrists, just as I had tried to do on Saturday. He said that my arm was badly broken, that I had numerous minor cuts, a broken rib or two, some internal bleeding, countless bruises where I had been beaten or strangled, and lots of other damage.

The doctor said that I would never be able to have children, and I had nodded, not really caring. It was interesting, to hear all these things that were wrong with me, and even more interesting that the human body could survive and go on after such injuries.

But then I frowned…never have kids? Never? I mean…yes, that was the future, but…but still…

"Hey!" I jumped as someone plopped down on the edge of my bed. It was a young girl, maybe ten or so, dressed in a frilly white skirt, a blue top, and pink 'Mogeta' jacket.

"So who's this Kyo guy?" she asks, her big blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. I don't answer, confused about her question. She notices. "I mean, you talked about him all last night while you were sleeping!" I blush, embarrassed.

She was very young and at first I wonder if she was in the wrong room. But then I catch sight of the bright red wrist tie…

"Come on! Tell me! Tell me!" she asks, curious and attentive. She smiles widely. She has long, silky black hair, rosy cheeks, and a perfect smile…a natural beauty. I wonder why such a warm, happy young girl was in here with me.

I still haven't answered her question, and she frowns, her forehead creasing.

"Well?" she demands, jutting out her chest importantly.

"J…Just a guy…" I stammer. She doesn't like that answer and pouts.

Before I can react, the girl jumps up, pulling me from my bed. I stumble to find my feet as we walk.

"Hey!" a doctor yells, seeing the little girl with me. She just laughs and smiles, jumping up and down.

"I'm gunna take Tohru outside okay?" He nods, a little confused, and we're off.

She pulls me along, far more lively and vivacious than I. Everyone greets her with a smile and wave, and they all glance curiously at me.

She skips down the hospital hallway, and I'm nearly jogging to keep up, completely bewildered and confused. My body aches and complains and when we finally stop, I bend over to catch my breath.

"Here we are! Look, look!" I look up, and my breath catches in my throat.

We're out in the hospital's courtyard. It's lined with handsome cherry trees, all of which are in full bloom. The sun dances through their leaves and warms my skin as petals float through the breeze.

The beauty is breathtaking. Some people are taking pictures.

"It's…beautiful…" I say finally. I notice that tears are falling from my eyes. "It's just…it's so much like that dream I had…where I died…and I saw my parents…"

The girl nods and drops my hand, politely disregarding my tears. She steps away and looks up at the sapphire sky, closing her eyes as the warm sunlight dances on her skin.

She laughs. "I know, right? I used to come here all the time when I first got here! I thought it was my secret spot! Not so secret though, right?"

I stare at her as I'm suddenly filled with a great sadness…She's so young…

My body hurts and I take a seat on a nearby bench. She walks around, blindly swinging her arms as she goes.

She must be a dancer.

"When was that?" I ask, referring to her earlier statement. She opens her eyes and skips back to me, taking a seat. She smiles, sadly.

"Two years ago." I gasp and then cover my mouth, embarrassed by my rudeness. But she just nods. She's heard it all before.

"Yes, I know…people have a hard time understanding why I was in that room when I was so young." She was referring to the room where she and I both stayed…the one for those who were suicidal. "I've been here since I was eight, ever since daddy killed mama, and then hurt me really bad…" I stared at her, confused.

I didn't even know this girl, so why was she here telling me all this?

Why?

She continued,

"Mama was so sweet. She loved me so, so much! We played together all the time, we grew a garden together, and we cooked too! We cooked all sorts of things! One time, though, I put in too much flour, and the cake exploded in the oven!" She giggled then, as she remembered, her face illuminated with excitement as she spoke. "And mama always did my hair all pretty-like, with ribbons and stuff. She'd spend a long time brushing it, she said I had hair like a boy. And she was always so funny and happy! She took me to dance lessons, helped me with my homework, took care of me, and helped me sleep when I was upset…she was always happy…even when daddy was drinking…"

So she was a dancer...and she and her mother sounded so much like…me and my mom…

"Everything was so great! We were always having fun, even when daddy was gone for days and days on end. We made cookies, and played house, and visited the geese, and played in the park--we were always together…always…" her smile faded and the tone of her voice grew sad. "But one night daddy came home late. I was sleeping when he came in and their shouting woke me up. I went downstairs in my nightgown holding my teddy bear and I watched him…I watched him strangle my mama…"

I began to cry, biting my lip to keep from sobbing.

"I was so little then, I didn't understand…but I was upset and I started crying, and daddy heard me and came over…he hurt me really bad…but the police showed up and saved me. They took me here…but I just…couldn't handle it...I was so alone and scared, and I tried everything: overdoses, cuts, poisons…but I've always been brought back. And I think that I know why," she looked at me then, seeming much more mature. I wasn't sure if she expected some sort of response.

I could only look down and softly touch my bandaged wrists.

"Why?" I finally asked. I was surprised she heard me, but she leaned over, crossing her legs. She took my hand again, caressing it.

"It was mama." I looked up at her, feeling the prick of tears in my eyes again. She closes her eyes. "Mama wants me to live…I know it's her…she was always with me, and she loved me more than anything in the world." She pressed her other hand to her chest, to her heart. "And mama will always be with me. She wants me to keep living, to fight and go on…so even when things get touch, all I have to do is think of her…and I just know…I know she wants me to come back, try again, and live."

We were quiet then, and I realized that she was crying, too.

I remembered back to my death…to seeing my parents…their words repeated themselves again, and I sobbed.

"Yes…" I said softly. "…I believe that, too…" and we held each other, crying as the beautiful cherry blossoms fell around us.

I cried for myself. For what had happened to me…and I cried for this little girl, who knew nothing about me…but still said the words I wanted to hear…I cried for her, too.

It was sunset when we finally headed inside. A nurse was there at the door, tapping her toe as she anxiously waited for us.

I sniffed and gripped her hand tighter as we entered the building together, walking side by side.

"So what's your name," I asked, turning to her as we walked.

"Huh?" she looked over, surprised. She put a finger to her lips, as if thinking, but then snapped her fingers and said, beaming,

"Oh, me? I'm Keiko!"

"It's so nice to meet you. Keiko." I said. "And thank you."

"SO!" she teased, gently nudging me as we entered our room. "Who is this Kyo guy? Tell me, tell me!"

I smiled. For the first time.

And we headed for our own beds as the lights went out.

That night I dreamt again, of my wonderful orange-haired savior. Only this time, there was no alley. There were only cherry trees, larks, and the wonderful sunlight.

And I dreamt of my parents…of them telling me…to keep on going…to live and never give up…

…and then I dreamt of Kyo again.

Monday.

It was early afternoon. The doctors and nurses were done examining me, and were pleased with my progress. I was talking more, and they said the therapist would start seeing me soon.

I made my way down to the courtyard alone and stood in the middle of it, shivering slightly in the cool breeze. A small smile played on my lips as I watched the cherry blossoms dancing in the wind.

I turned as a lark flew by, watching it.

And I froze.

Kyo Sohma was standing in front of me.

**END OF CHAPTER 13 (finally**)

So yep. That's it. OH! And don't forget Keiko! It means 'blessing' in Japanese, and she'll be back…don't worry. She's VERY important.

PUHLEASE review!!

-Inulover411


	15. The Week Before and Encounters

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, I own nothing.

**AN#1:** Wow! Again you guys, I got a lot of good feedback, thank you! It seems like generally you guys liked the last chapter…POLL AT THE END

**AN#2: **If you guys wanna see what Keiko looks like, I drew a picture and posted it on . I'm actually kind of good so go and check my stuff out! There are two ways to get there:

**LINK**: .com/art/Keiko-from-Furuba-fanfic-153959069

(If the link doesn't all show up here, that's not my fault)

**OR **

Go to

search for inlover411—it should bring up a picture titled 'inulover411'

Click on the picture, and you're in my gallery.

Click on gallery or my picture and navigate through.

Keiko's pics are the newest added. Click on them to see them enlarged, whatever.

Lemme know if you guys like it!

**AN#3:** So I know you guys wanted this to be the fluff chapter…but its NOT. I'm SORRY, okay? I started writing the fluff and then this one needed to be in there first. Its just Kyo's POV from the last week, OKAY? Don't hurt me! Because that DEFINITELY means the fluff is next chapter, OKAY???!!

FOREWARNING: this chapter may get a little long…

**Chapter 14: The Week Before and Encounters**

The alarm clock beside my bed sprang to life, beeping in a loud obnoxious manner. I had been watching it intently, awaiting its awakening, and calmly reached over, snapping it off.

Normally the clock would scare me awake with its loudness, but I hadn't slept all night.

It was Monday. The day I'd see Tohru.

I heard Yuki's alarm go off and he groaned, reluctantly getting out of bed to shut it off. He slowly shuffled around his room, yanking open drawers for his uniform and mumbling incoherently. Unlike me, HE was going to school today.

Last night at dinner, Yuki had claimed there was a student council meeting that he just couldn't miss today. I'd glared at him then as he smiled. There was no meeting. And then Shigure had sat up straight, put his book down, and said he wasn't going either. Yuki and I had both glared at him then. He'd laughed nervously, stating that he just really had to get the next chapter on his novel started.

Yeah right. He lived to give his editor hell.

Yuki and I both heard the falsity of his statement but said nothing. I'd been so angry after that that I'd stormed off to my room, mumbling and chucking my chopsticks in the trash as I passed. I knew what this was.

They were making me go alone. And this just really pissed me off for some reason.

Although it had been tentatively planned that I'd see her first, I had hoped for some sort of backup.

Some sort of protection if things went badly.

If I ran away, afraid, there would be no one to stop me.

I rolled over, staring at the ceiling.

And even though her doctor had said she was progressing, that she was starting to talk-even if it was only a few words-, that she was eating again, I was still terrified of seeing her.

I was frightened of myself, of the unfamiliar feelings that I might possibly divulge to her today.

And I was also scared…of her.

I wondered who would speak first…or if anything would be said at all.

I wondered if I was being stupid. If she loved me at all. If there could be some sort of future for us together…

And now, laying here alone in my room, I could think of a million things to say, a million ways to start a conversation…but I knew all my words would be lost the moment I saw her.

I reluctantly got up and out of bed, scratching my head as I walked around my room looking for a pair of running clothes. I glanced outside as I got dressed. It was lightly raining now, but I new that it would clear out shortly. Today would be a beautiful day….

And suddenly I needed a run. My body was itching for it, my legs burning with anticipation.

Running and training had been my only solace this week. My cousins had no idea how to comfort me, and they didn't try. I'd run and exercise multiple times a day, the sweat and burning muscles seeming to relax my tense and worried body. I'd become absorbed in training, blocking everyone and everything out as I practiced punching and kicking at the dojo and at home. Master had said nothing, just commented on my form. He knew why I was there, trying so hard.

Everyone knew now. Hatori had returned to the estate last week, saying that Akito was furious about his absence. He had gathered the whole family and told them what had happened. Shigure had told Yuki and me that everyone was terribly upset — minus Akito, who had actually laughed when Hatori spread the news.

I crinkled my nose as an unpleasant smell drifted upstairs. Burnt eggs…disgusting. No one in this house knew how to cook besides me. And they were always looking to me to make them food. Whatever. It annoyed me, and I wondered how Tohru handled it.

As I left my room and headed downstairs, the heaviness set in my heart again. Everywhere I went in this house, I felt her presence. I saw her standing in the kitchen with her apron on, asking me if I wanted to help. I heard her laughing, humming a song as she did the laundry. I smelled her strawberry shampoo…it was torturous: the house, my life, all empty without her. And it was beyond depressing.

Her bedroom door remained closed, her room blocked off. I wondered if things were gathering dust in there….probably, but I was unwilling to enter…just passing the door gave me enough pain and suffering. I would pause every time, cringing and grabbing at the sudden ache in my heart.

I'd remember her coming downstairs in her pajamas, still sleepy-eyed. I'd remember bringing her soup while she was sick, and the tears of embarrassment she cried. And I'd also remember this one night where I had been outside and had seen her window open. I didn't know she was sleeping so I just went right on in to close the window…and I saw her, lying in her bed, and watched her.

I'd stared at her, my heart racing, barely daring to breathe. She was so…peaceful. So serene…that it took my breath away. And I remembered watching her chest rise and fall, watching her smile in her sleep…that I had wanted so badly to be with her.

And then I would pull myself from my stupor, hurrying on and past the room and the memories.

As I entered the kitchen, I pushed Shigure aside as he stood over the stove and his attempt at breakfast. He slinked off, admitting defeat. I quickly and unthinkingly whipped up a meal and people came and filled their plates, and we all headed to the dining room.

I had filled my plate too, but as I took my seat and stared at the food, I suddenly had no appetite. My nerves were making me queasy.

Breakfast was silent and awkward, and it was odd not having visitors like we'd had all week. They'd all come, one at a time or in a group, to pay their respects and ask how Tohru was doing. They'd bring gifts, and most of the younger kids, and Momiji, left in tears…especially Kisa, who had desperately clung to Hatusuharu during their whole visit.

Most of the gifts were cheap, store-bought excuses. But some were genuine and handmade…and I knew Tohru would enjoy those.

All her gifts and cards had been pushed against a wall in the dining room, so that the table was clear. Gradually the pile rose, and I knew that Tohru would be overwhelmed at the sight of so many gifts…all for her…

But then again, she had never realized just how important she was to this family…and how much we all loved and cared about her.

Hatori had promised that, once she came home, he'd visit every day and assess her condition. But when she would return home, no one knew.

"So, today's the big day, huh Kyo?" Shigure asked, setting down his chopsticks and looking over at me.

I looked up, nodded, and went back to picking at my food. Shigure frowned, expecting an answer.

"Are you ready?" I shrugged, not really sure of my answer. I was torn. I was desperate to see her, and happy that I could finally talk to her…but I was also terrified of the person I'd find, and how she'd react…and if she could ever be the same. But I had made a promise, and I intended to keep it, no matter how afraid I was.

"I'm sorry I can't go," Shigure said, picking his chopsticks up again. Yuki glanced over and nodded his apology. I knew that the words 'I'm sorry' would never be said by him, to me. The rivalry was still there.

I got up, feeling numb and shaky, tossing my untouched food in the trash. Shigure and Yuki followed me, their plates clean.

"Well good luck, and don't loose your cool. Women are delicate, and must be treated as such," Shigure babbled. He sounded insecure, concerned, and was only making conversation to cover up his embarrassment. I washed my plate, perhaps too thoroughly, absorbed and nervous, and headed upstairs.

"Kyo?" I paused and looked back. Uniform straight and bag in hand, Yuki stood at the foot of the stairs.

And suddenly I felt almost grateful for the part he'd played this week. While I had numbly stumbled through life, it was Yuki who had acted normal. He was the one who told everyone else what had happened. Not me. He was the one who answered questions about Tohru, even if they were asked to me. He was there to lighten the mood just when things got too depressing, when I was starting to feel too emotionally overwhelmed.

And me? What had I done?

Nothing.

"What," I answered, my voice cool and calculative.

Yuki's face tilted into some sort of grin and I could see there, behind the smile, how upset he was. This was painful for him, too. And I wondered if he was always the one to do that: cover everything up behind a fake, cheerful exterior…

He almost looked tortured as he spoke,

"Don't fuck this up you brainless cat," I froze and glared daggers at him, my appreciation for the rat instantly vaporizing. He chuckled and headed outside and off to school, and I ran up to my room, slamming the paper door closed.

Yuki hardly ever cursed, and the use of the f-word from him was just plain…freaky. And he'd said it to ME?!

Seriously?!

His tortured expression came again to mind and I clenched my fists.

"I hate you, you stupid rat…"

And I wasn't imagining the respect mixed in with the anger in my voice.

(Later)

It was noon now, and I paced my room, riddled with worry uncertainty. Shirts, pants, socks and underwear were strung out randomly everywhere in my room: on lampshades, on my desk, on the floor…it was a disaster zone.

And still I could find nothing to wear.

(Later—again)

I stepped outside and into the blinding sunlight, tugging at my collar uncomfortably. I'd decided—finally—on dark blue pants and a white and red striped dress shirt…it was the nicest thing I owned, but it was terribly confining and uncomfortable. I wondered how—and WHY—some people dressed up like this every day.

I felt Shigure watching me from his study as I started off down the path, but I didn't acknowledge him.

I had been right about the weather. The rain had cleared out and the sky was a pure, cloudless sapphire color. Rain had the creek flowing again, and as I passed it I saw animals taking drinks from its banks. Birds flitted about from branch to branch, twittering, blissfully unaware. Sunlight danced through the branches of the forest and reflected off the water. It was so serene and peaceful…

And me?

I was shaking from nerves, a wreck. And super late, too. It was 230 when I'd left the house, and visiting hours were only until 5…I'd taken too long in the shower with my hair, taken to long to decide on an outfit…

I was frenzied and rushed as I entered town. I checked my watch and jumped. 3:00? Really?! Had I been walking slowly? What the hell?

I tried to calm myself and look nonchalant as I mixed with the afternoon crowds. And then I paused, my glance flickering to the window of a shop. An old man bumped into me and cursed under his breath as he sidestepped me.

I bit my lip, uncertain, glancing uncomfortably at all the plush stuffed animals and girly trinkets in the window…

Should I bring a gift?

The pinkness of the display left me slightly nauseous, but I entered anyway, making sure to avoid a few small little girls as they danced around the store.

If I'd thought the window display was bad, the store was worse. I felt this was a major blow to my manliness, a disgrace to my gender…and I felt less a man by having entered this accursed store.

Everything was pink. Girly. Shiny. Sparkly. Singing and dancing and puppies and…eugh…torture.

There were two teenage girls who spotted me, and they laughed, blushed, and pointed at me as I walked to the nearest aisle. One of them even had the audacity to blow a kiss at me, and I turned to leave immediately when suddenly

(AN: Ahaha I told you guys!)

"Hey there hot stuff!" I froze in fear, turning around slowly, silently praying.

Please, no. Please. Please. PLEASE! Not here…

Sure enough—and much to my displeasure—the blonde girl from the park was standing behind the counter. Her hair was too curly, too blonde, and contrasted with the sheer amount of blush on her cheeks. I backed up as she headed over, forgetting her duty at the register. She smiled at me, pursing her lips as she did so. Her lips had way too much gloss…and like last time, she looked insane with the amount of mascara she wore.

She slinked over, playing coyly with her hair and batting her eyelashes.

Her shirt was seriously too low, and her apron—printed with the store's logo—barely covered her breast.

"I knew you'd come back to me, darling," she cooed softly.

I cringed. Darling?! Just how delusional WAS this girl?!

I continued to back up as she advanced when BONK. I was suddenly against a wall. She licked her lips, as if sensing my discomfort and advanced, blocking any escape route.

"Um look, I don't—"I started, my voice shaking. I noticed then how short her skirt was, and the high heels and the leggings…

SO not sexy.

"—you ran off the other day. I searched everywhere for you," she interrupted, her voice syrupy sweet. She was close enough to touch me and she reached for my hand, which I yanked away. I tried to edge around her, but she blocked me. She laughed.

"What is it, my handsome hero, do I make you nervous?" She reached out, touching my shoulder, trailing her hand down my chest.

I was aware of how close she was, but me transforming was NOT my greatest fear at the moment. I considered yelling 'RAPE!' and running…

She sidled closer, her hands drifting down to my belt. But instead of being turned on like a normal person, I was only terrified more.

"I want you, sexy man. Don't you want me, too?"

She leaned in, and the overwhelming scent of too much perfume hit me like a train.

She took my not answering as a good thing and chuckled, pursing her lips.

"I always get what I want…" she whispered, leaning in, her breath fanning my face. I felt myself on the edge of transforming. I was a dead man, surely, but then

"KYO! Darling! There you are!"

The blonde girl pulled back and I was suddenly jerked out from the wall and away from her. I looked around for my savior and found a familiar girl hanging onto my arm.

"Kagura?"

"Oh, my love, I thought I lost you back there!" she cooed, flirting and brushing my cheek with her fingertips. Then she reached up, quickly kissing me on the cheek.

I was utterly confused, but beyond grateful as my blonde 'rapist' girl ran off, disappointed and angry.

I finally relaxed and sighed a sigh of relief.

"You're welcome, Kyo," Kagura teased, holding my hand gently in hers.

"Thank you Kagura…that chick…she must be evil or something." I realized then that I was shaking.

"Well clearly! I mean she was trying WAY too hard! And all that mascara and gloss? Tisk Tisk! Such a fashion NONO!" Kagura said, waving her hand as if she smelled something bad. I smiled, weakly. "And I mean REALLY, its women like her that give our whole gender a bad name!"

"I really thought she was gonna get me," I said. "I thought I was a dead man!"

"OR you would've just transformed," she whispered, winking. I blinked, confused, but eventually I got the joke and laughed. "So why are you in here of all places, Kyo, my love?"

I frowned, glaring at her. We'd been through this before. "I don't love you, Kagura…you know that…"I said gently. She was quiet then.

"Yes, I know," she answered, her voice wistful and lonely. I looked at the floor, embarrassed for her and for myself. "You love Tohru, right?"

My head snapped up, and I was painfully aware I was blushing. "No! I just...I—I-I-I…" I stammered. Kagura smiled, taking my hand and leading me down the next aisle.

She stopped eventually, humming an upbeat song. She mumbled along the lyrics, bending over and looking in the shelves.

"Ah! Here we go," she stood up then and turned to look at me, her expression sad. "Its alright, you know…I've always known…I knew all along…" she sniffled, a tear escaping and falling down her cheek. "I always knew she would beat me."

"Kagura…"I said, unsure of what to do.

"You were looking for a gift, right? Here, give her this," she said, shoving the item into my hands. I glanced down at it. It was a handmade bamboo journal, decorated with strawberries and small, delicately painted flowers. Kagura sighed. "She'll need it."

And somehow, the gift seemed right. It seemed to fit. A journal.

"Well, go Kyo."

"Huh?"

"Get going."

"But…"

Kagura shook her head, waving her finger at me, and grinned. "No buts, mister. Get going…And you don't need to be afraid."

And I was dumb enough to ask, "Why?"

And Kagura smiled. "Because I know she loves you, too."

(Later—again!!—at the hospital)

"Um hello, I'm looking for Tohru Honda," I asked, nervously approaching the desk, gift in hand. The old brunette nurse behind the counter glanced at me, as if scrutinizing me. Then she turned back to her computer, typing a few things in.

"Says here she's not supposed to have visitors," she said, her voice annoyed.

"The doctor told me I could come today," I argued. She scoffed, but I was not one to give up. "He told me it was okay. Please, you have to let me go see her."

She looked back at me, frowning, putting my words together. She sighed,

"Room 202, 2nd floor."

"Thank you," I said, heading off. I heard her turn to another nurse and say, jokingly,

"There's not much you can do to stop these love-sick kids these days,"

As I hurried upstairs my heart began to race. I felt sweaty, hot, uncomfortable. I arrived at her room and pulled open the door.

A dozen pairs of eyes immediately flickered over to me, and I froze, feeling self conscious. A nurse came to my side and gently asked me for my name. The patients—who I all noticed wore the same red wristband—went about their business then.

"Um I'm Kyo…Kyo Sohma…here to see Tohru," I stammered, my voice shaking. She stared at me unblinkingly, and I felt as if she was reading my soul.

"Kyo?" we both jumped and turned around. A little girl in jeans and a Mogeta tee shirt hopped down from her bed, running over, her face pink with excitement.

"Um…yes, that's my name…" I said. She looked so young and innocent…and then I saw the wristband…

"OOO! This is so interesting!" the little girl squealed, jumping up and down. Her blue eyes sparkled intensely with curiosity.

"Keiko, what is it?" the nurse asked. Keiko, I thought, meant 'blessing'. The girl paused and smiled up at me.

"That's the boy Tohru talks about in her sleep! That's him! That's him!"

"What?!" I asked, surprised and shocked.

She looked up at me again, biting her lip in anticipation. "Every night she falls asleep, and she has bad dreams, but then she says your name and it all gets better! I've asked her about you but she wouldn't tell me anything!" She pouted then, and I smiled at her cuteness. "But now I see; now I see,"

"See what?" the nurse asked, checking her clipboard.

"Nurse Tomari, I need you over here!" I heard an old man yell from across the room. The nurse jumped and checked her board again. And then she turned to me, flustered.

"She's not in here right now, I'm sorry, I just don't know where she is," she said, her tone worried.

"What?!" I yelled, causing everyone to look at me again. Keiko jumped up and down, waving her hand wildly in the air like she was in school answering a question.

"Yes, Keiko?" the nurse asked again, sighing.

"I know where Tohru is!" Keiko giggled, lowering her hand.

"You do?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yep! She's outside in the courtyard downstairs! We always go this time of day,"

"Thank you, Keiko, thank you," I added, relieved. The little girl tried to follow me out the door and I paused…if I was going to see Tohru, I didn't really want a little girl jumping in on it…

"Keiko," the nurse said shortly. "You can't go. You have to see the doctor this hour, remember?" Keiko frowned and crossed her arms.

"Dangit! This stinks! I bet you guys will make out and stuff! I wanna go!" she whined. I immediately blushed.

"Keiko, go sit down so the doctor can see you," the nurse said, her voice tense.

"Awwwe….well come see me again, Kyo! I like you!" And she bounded off to her bed, humming and playing with the Mogeta doll on her bedside table.

The nurse pointed in the direction of the yard, and I nodded my thanks to her, and headed off.

Excitement and anticipation coursed through my veins as I headed downstairs. I passed the same old nurse at the desk, who stared at me curiously. I picked up my pace, dodging nurses and patients alike.

And then the doors opened.

The sunlight blinded me for a moment, and I reached up, shading my eyes. I searched for her.

The courtyard was fairly empty. An old couple was sitting on a bench. A few nurses stood beside their patients and talked. And one patient was standing alone, staring up at the cherry blossoms as the drifted through the breeze, her back turned to me, her arm in a cast.

She was wearing a skirt and tank top over her hospital gown. My heart fluttered in my chest. She turned, her eyes peacefully closed. The sunlight danced gracefully upon her skin, the breeze blew her long brown hair back from her face…

I walked over to her, enraptured by Tohru's simplistic beauty. She smiled softly, her cheeks rosy.

I stopped then, a few feet away from her as she opened her eyes, finding me immediately.

She froze and gasped, a blush spreading across her face. And my heart took off. My knees were weak, my head spinning…

"Kyo?" she called softly.

**END OF CH 14**

Sorry that was an awkward place to end it…

POLL:

Which one of the following Furuba characters would you most like to BE?

Kyo

Yuki

Momiji

Akito

Ren

Hatusuharu

OTHER

Hope you liked this one,

Inulover411


	16. The Meeting and Magic Words

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is what I own! NOTHING!

**AN:** Well, first of all a shout out to MIKE KROMER for giving me my 100th review! Hurrah! Hurray! Celebrate! Where's the cake? The ice cream? The alcoholic beverages? (Just kidding!)

**AN#2:** WOW! I did get a lot of feedback from the last chapter…most of which was positive—much appreciated, you guys!

**AN#3**: So here it is…I'm sorry, but I don't think this chapter's gunna be very good at all. It was really very difficult for me to write. And I don't know if I should do like Tohru's side for this chapter and then Kyo's side for the next chapter…or should I just get on with it? Idk. Help?

**POLL RESULTS: **Well, the voting was pretty spread out, but the winner *drum roll* was Kyo with 4 votes, then a three way tie of Shigure, Haru, and Momiji in second place.

Anyway, on with it…I guess…I'm expecting some flames on this one. Sorry you guys if this is a MAJOR disappointment.

***Why Ch. 15: The Meeting and Magic Words***

"Kyo?" I called, the words leaving my lips before I could contain them. Instantly, I regretted speaking, my hand flying to my mouth as if I could catch the word before it reached him. No success. His eyes flickered and a light blush flew to his cheeks as I spoke his name.

My knees began to shake. I hadn't been expecting him at all…maybe Shigure or Hatori…or maybe even Yuki…but Kyo?

He started to walk towards me.

I'd had no time to prepare.

He was alone.

That scared me.

Adrenaline was pumping through my system.

If he was alone…That meant he had something to say…

…THAT terrified me to the bone.

My entire body was trembling.

I'd been ignoring the thoughts of this first meeting between us, trying desperately to contain the unending pain and sadness that I thought meeting him might bring. I'd put a lid on it, quite bluntly. Put aside this meeting. Lulled myself into believing that I would be forever with the Kyo of my dreams…the Kyo that told me he loved me…that saved me...held me…and even kissed me…

But those were all fantasies.

Reality stood before me, uncomfortably shifting in his white and red striped dress shirt.

And it terrified me.

It seemed as if I were standing on the top of a cliff, my feet dangling over the edge, dangling over his answer…

With every step he took in my direction, my heart pounded faster, harder, wilder.

What had he come to say?

I debated with myself.

Run?

Stay?

He stopped in front of me, his hands in his pants pockets.

Running seemed like the more comfortable avenue the longer we stood there, a seemingly impossible distance stretching between us when in all actuallity, i could have just reached out, and touched him

The wind blew again, brushing his hair gently away from his face. I could feel the jolt as my heart jumped, the heat of blush on my cheeks, the surge of adrenaline that left my knees weak as we watched each other.

The love I felt for him was undeniable, even now.

And I wondered…

His eyes widened with shock. His gaze moved up and down my body, and I suddenly felt hot and self conscious despite my layers of clothing.

The way he was looking at me was not the way in which a man would do of his beautiful, admirable girlfriend. His looks were those of shock, disbelief, and pain. He was looking at my injuries, at my fragile, broken body, and at the bruises and the bandages…at the red wristband…

I nervously pulled at my hair, trying desperately to hide the purple hand-like bruises that circled around my neck.

All these bruises…

…they made me inferior…tears began to well in my eyes, threatening to give me away. I stepped back.

A hand suddenly caught my own. I winced and looked up, and I could swear my heart momentarily stopped.

I lost myself in the intensity of his deep red eyes.

Time seemed to stop momentarily, all my worries melting away into nothingness…

It could have been minutes, or hours even that we stood there.

He bit his lip.

Swallowed.

He was shaking…

He pulled his eyes from mine and the worry and fear returned in a rush as my eyes dropped to the concrete.

My heart began to pound again, filling my head with its nonsensical, nonstop rhythm.

And then, ever so gently, he reached up, brushing my hair away so that he could look. And I could not deny the electricity that zipped through my veins at his tender touch. I dared to look up again, watching him from the corner of my eye. I bit my lip, preparing for the worse, and judged his reaction.

His breath caught in his throat and his face paled, and I started to pull away. But he shook his head, no, and held firm. The sadness and the agony reflected in his eyes kept me spellbound. His fingers trembled.

His mouth hung open, as he began tenderly touching the bruises, the cuts, and then his hand and eyes moved to my face…

Our eyes met. A roar of fire flashed through me, shaking me, leaving me breathless…He held my gaze intently, neither of us daring to blink, gauging each other's reactions. He was testing me, testing my boundaries. My own breathing faltered as he caressed my face, cupped my chin in his hand... My knees threatened to buckle under my own weight. Very cautiously, he placed a finger against the purple black eye I had.

And as much as I tried not to, I flinched.

And the spell was broken. He pulled away immediately, his eyes wounded as he dropped my hand from his own. He suddenly looked much older, more weathered. He turned, as if to leave, hurt reading clearly in his actions and his body language.

An intense desperation surged through me, and I stepped after him, grabbing his hand.

He froze, glancing back at me, a look of pure torture on his face.

I wondered if my face looked the same…

We both looked away hurriedly, but he remained, his huge hand still resting in mine.

I spotted a bench and led him there. I noticed I was still trembling …and I was sure he could tell.

And I was sure he could hear my heart, racing along as he held my hand.

We took our seats, neither of us looking at each other, neither of us speaking.

Minutes passed.

An hour passed…

The silence stretched on endlessly.

I watched the cherry blossoms as they danced in the breeze, the larks as they flitted about from branch to branch above us, all the while trying to contain the overwhelming feeling of dread.

Silence.

And the silence, for me, was answer enough.

My eyes burned.

My chest ached…

I knew. I had known. I had known all along…this silence between us served as proof enough for me….proof that he really didn't love me.

I remembered back to **that** night, cringing past all the painful memories. It was fuzzy for me…but I tried to remember.

I faintly remembered passing out. Waking up after** he** had gone and left me. Stumbling along. The feeling of blood, of my very life, draining out of my body, dripping and falling away…Dying…Collapsing onto my mother's grave while the sky cried torrents of rain. And then hearing people screaming. Someone holding me, telling me they loved me…

But it was all fuzzy.

And probably a lie.

My heart plummeted in my chest and I dropped his hand.

I couldn't look at him. Tears welled again in my eyes, and a wave of immense guilt washed over me.

I was guilty for the way I looked.

Guilty for what had happened.

Guilty for what I'd put him through.

And guilty for loving him.

I closed my eyes, a quiet sob racking my body.I could feel him watching me. The tension and nerves radiating off his body were nearly tangible. I prepared myself. Fighting, warring with myself, I pulled it all together. I composed my face, kept it blank, and prepared for the worst, for the news I was sure he was here to deliver.

I could hear the words already in my head…"_Tohru, I don't love you…" _And even just imagining it, hearing the words in my head...it broke me. Shattered me to pieces. Stole my breath.

I started to turn to him, my heart threatening to rip in two, and ask what it was he wanted…

…but he surprised me.

He was reaching into his pocket, pulling something out.

"Here," he mumbled, shoving something my way, looking down at the cracks in the sidewalk. I took his gift gingerly, not daring to look at anything more than his masculine hands…and not daring to touch those hands…

…those hands in which mine fit perfectly…

I shook my head, ridding the thought from my mind, and glanced at what he'd given me. I slowly slipped the plain, baby blue colored cloth from the gift, and a book fell softly into my lap.

This made me flinch, of course.

Unfortunately, Kyo had not missed my reaction, and was now staring at me intensely in concern…I could feel the stare...but I dared not look.

The pain eased, but my heart still raced, and blood rushed to my cheeks.

I could not meet his piercing stare.

I knew that if I did look at him…

Even just once more…

I would be lost…

The damn would break. All hell would break loose. The waters of feelings and words would spill out uncontrolled like violent rapids…

I would explode. And loose him forever.

I picked the book up carefully, and examined it.

"A journal?" I asked.

He nodded. I was surprised he had heard me.

I flipped the tiny book around in my fragile fingers, my fingertips running up each bamboo strip, touching each delicately painted flower as they glittered in the sunlight…

It was beautiful…and it was perfect.

Perfect.

"Figured you might…you know…need it...or whatever…" he said, his voice awkward and pitchy as he mumbled.

I nodded, flipping through the blank pages…

And I suddenly was aching for a pen…

As I rewrapped the delicate journal in its cloth something caught my eye. An elderly man and woman walked by, the man wearing an overcoat over his hospital gown, and the woman in a bright, conservative dress. Their wrinkles lifted as they laughed, entranced in each other.

Matching wedding bands glinted in the sunlight on their clasped hands. Their eyes sparkled with a love unaffected by time.

And I wished, quite selfishly, that I could, just once, feel that kind of love with someone…

That I could love and be loved…

…by the person next to me.

I bowed my head, hugging the journal to my chest with my good hand.

Reality washed over me again.

He still had not said anything.

And as time wore on, I began to doubt he would say anything…that he perhaps could not speak…

I was overwhelmed, and my eyes burned with tears.

I begged silently for him to say it. For him to just get it out and get it over with…

Because this was too much. He was just here as my friend, not my lover….

I sobbed aloud, and he jumped. Inwardly, I was breaking, yelling at myself for my stupidity. How dare I…how could I ever have thought…that he could love me! Tears escaped and slipped down my cheeks as I cried. How could I ever have been so…foolish?

_"You're so dumb. Just a dumb, stupid little girl_…"

**He** was right. I had fooled myself long ago, into thinking that maybe, just maybe, the man beside me loved me too. What an idiot I was…I began to shake with anger, pain, and self pity…how could I have been so...stupid?

A man like him…he could never…love me…

I was stupid. Naive. Ugly. Maybe that man in the alley…the one who had…raped me…nearly killed me…had seen me for what I really was…?

"Tohru?" Kyo called, his voice worried. I sensed him leaning over, about to wrap an arm around me.

I sobbed aloud again, my heart ripping in two.

I _**loved**_ him.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

But there was no way…

I jumped up and away from him, ignoring the slight pain in my ribs, and turned to leave.

"WAIT!" he yelled, attracting everyone's attention…including my own. There was fear and alarm in his voice, written across his face…

"Tohru, please…please don't leave…" he begged. And the desperation in his voice was undeniable, binding…

I stopped, staring between the hospital and the bench, torn.

"Please," he begged again.

And I was shocked.

He was letting me decide. Leaving it all up to me. I could stay…or I could leave…and even though he didn't want that, I had the nagging feeling that he wouldn't try to stop me if I left.

...

I took my seat.

I stared at the ground. So did he.

We sat in silence again.

I felt cold.

Alone.

Lost.

Numb.

Hurt…

I waited for the questions: "Why did you do it?" "Are you insane?" "What were you thinking?" "Why didn't you talk to someone?"…but they never came.

A shiver went up my spine suddenly and I turned, alarmed, blood rushing to my cheeks.

Kyo had taken my arm, and was gently unwrapping the bandages on my wrist.

I tried to yank away my arm, feeling again self conscious, but he held me firmly. Gently. But firmly. I whimpered and gave in, giving myself to him. I dared to look…

…And I was entranced.

He bent over, working softly at the bandages, focusing on them and not looking at me as I watched him. His orange locks fell over his handsome eyes…his fingers gently touched the red wristband. He pushed it aside without even a second glance…and then he undid the last bandage.

I looked away, my whole face contorting into a grimace as I heard his sharp inhale.

I'd seen it, of course…and it wasn't pretty. Two long, identical scores...one by my own hand. The one I'd inflicted was jagged, inexperienced…The other was clean, easy, experienced…

The sutures had inflamed the area, and the skin was bright pink, contrasting with the horrible clarity of the sutures themselves.

I flinched, trembled, and found myself watching him again. I inhaled…held my breath…and could only stare in wonder…

Kyo was bent over my wrist, a pained look of understanding on his face. He traced each cut gingerly, his fingertip bumping over each stitch. His breath fanned over my wrist, cooling it, and he bent lower, as if to kiss the slits…

I snatched my arm away, leaving it in my lap, my face red with blush...

"Well…aren't you going to ask?" I demanded, forcing myself to look away as his eyes flashed suddenly to my face. He straightened up in his seat.

Another new rush of emotion came over me.

And this time…

It was anger.

I was, for lack of a better word, pissed. This was cruel. Mean. What he was doing…it was easy to imagine his actions as ones of love and adoration…

…but he just couldn't love me…

…he didn't love me…

…he was just toying with me.

I wondered why he was here. Why he was doing this. Why he was being so nice…Why he wasn't SAYING it.

My voice had been acidic and angry, I had not imagined it.

But I couldn't take it anymore…

I was breaking.

"Just say it, Kyo…" I said softly, my voice shaky.

"Say what?" he asked.

I jumped up again, indignant, my body boiling with rage and hurt.

This was pure torture. The rape itself, the pain, the memories, they all seemed insignificant when compared to this.

"Say what?" he asked again, his voice more urgent.

My body shook, my lips trembled…and I snapped.

"TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" I screamed, attracting everyone's attention yet again. Everyone stopped. Stared. Talked, made their own assumptions, and gradually went on.

He fell silent. And the silence killed me. It was like he was, without words, saying 'yes, that's it.' My blood boiled. Tears spilled over again, leaving me raw, naked, exposed…

And I accepted it.

This silence of his…it had to be his way of telling me…and as prepared as I'd tried to make myself, this raw acceptance killed me…rocked my world…ripped my heart in two…

"Oh well…" I stuttered, crying, "I always knew…I always knew…that you didn't…"

I turned toward the hospital and away from him, feeling as if my whole entire body were breaking.

And suddenly his hand snatched out, grabbing my open wrist again.

But I'd had it. I wanted nothing more of him, of this man that didn't love me…of this man whose kindness was slowly killing me.

I fought. He gripped me tightly and then even harder as I struggled, and I shook from the pain. I fought him, but he held me. I was no match for him. I eventually caved and just stood there, glaring, yes glaring, at him.

He inhaled. And I prepared myself too, holding my breath, not daring to blink as I walled myself from within, prepared for the onslaught.

Prepared to hear those devastating words…

"No." I was shocked, confused by his answer, and stared intently at his face…his face, looking so pained, so tortured…

He still had not let up on my arm…he was holding me as if this was his last reprieve, his last try…

As if I was his lifeboat in a never ending ocean.

"No?" I repeated, confused.

He did not look up, but spoke slowly, enunciating clearly, making sure I heard everything.

He traced the stitched cuts again, sending a shiver up my spine.

"I'm not going to ask why you did it."

I opened my mouth to protest, and he shook his head violently, silencing me.

"Let. Me. Finish." He said through grit teeth, clearly working hard.

I settled, and he relaxed his grip.

"I won't ask because…because…I know…what it's like…"

"What?"

"I know what it feels like…to want to die…and not go on…to be so done with everything…to be so wrapped up in pain that living on just seems cruel…I was like that, after my mom died."

I listened wordlessly, enraptured by his careful compilation of words. This was the most eloquent he'd ever spoken, even if the words were troubled.

"But then I found Shishou…he gave me a reason for living…he IS the reason i AM still living...the reason I'm still here on this Earth...He helped me, raised me, taught me…even when things were tough, even when my past began to haunt me, he was there for me. Even if he had to beat me in the dojo to do so, he supported me.

And Tohru…I don't…I don't want you to give up…"

My breath caught. I was frozen.

"Tohru...you CAN'T give up...you cant...think. What would your mom want? Would she want you to give up? No. And...and...what about your father, huh? Do you think that they would just...let you die? Do you think they would just willingly give in and take you away?...Away from here and away from your friends and away from...me?"

He looked up, and there were tears in his eyes as he and I stared at each other.

My knees were shaking, my anger dwindling away…

"Please…Tohru…don't give up…I…I couldn't….I couldn't live….without you…you are always saving me, Tohru...and now...now that you've been hurt so badly like this..it's my turn. It's MY turn." His voice picked up in urgency, and a tear spilled over onto his flushed cheeks. "I want to support you, Tohru!" he yelled. "Even when things are tough! Even when you feel like giving up! DON'T!" The tears were falling from my eyes as well.

"You aren't ever alone, Tohru…and I know that…I know that I don't understand all of what you're feeling…hell, I may not understand any of it…but I want you to know…you have to know…that I'm here for you!" Another tear dripped down his chiseled cheek, and fell from his jaw. "Tohru…right now…right now I'm scared, Tohru."

I couldn't breathe.

"I've been such a fool, Tohru…I'm terrified... Scared so badly that I lay awake at night. Scared so badly that I can't eat or think…I'm scared of…you…"

"M…me?" I gasped.

"Yes…Tohru…I'm so scared of _loosing_ you…when I found out what had happened…when I found you there in the graveyard…when I picked up your broken, bloody body, I cried like a little kid…I was so…scared…."

"Wh…what are you s…s…saying…?" I stuttered.

"Tohru…I…I…" his body shook, and he looked at me, unblinkingly. He gripped my arm tightly, his whole body shaking.

We were here, on this cliff together.

We were at the climax. Breaking together. Neither sure what lay on the other side...and only sure of one thing.

"I WANT US TO STAY TOGETHER!" he yelled.

Time seemed to stop.

We stared at each other.

My knees gave out.

I fell to the ground, but felt no pain. I was gone.

My heart began to pound out a new rhythm. A bold, beautiful new one. I became overwhelmed with love…and with joy…

Tears overflowed. Sobs racked my body.

But I was happy.

Those words…were exactly what I had said to him…they were magic words.

I remembered back,back to the night where I had seen his true form.

He had given up then. And so had I…until…I had realized something. As I had walked into the clearing, saw him in his other, monstrous form, fighting with Yuki...

I remembered his dark, lost eyes staring into mine…the eyes of an angry, hurt animal…wounded beyond anything I could ever imagine…and…

…I was scared.

I had imagined, briefly, loosing Kyo. And it had ripped me to the core. Shook me to the bones.

I wouldn't have been able to go on…without Kyo…and I would have done anything...ANYTHING...for us to stay together.

_"I...I'm scared of you right now, Kyo,"_ the words had fallen shakily from my lips, fear twisting them. He had roared and tried to shake me off and run. But I had held on.

Desperately.

As if it were MY last reprieve, my last try before my world crashed down…

As if he was MY lifeboat in a never ending ocean.

_"I've been a fool…I've been such a fool…"_

I became vaguely aware of Kyo's body close to mine, leaning his head against mine, tears coming from him as well, holding my hands…

But i was still lost in the past...

"_I'm so scared right now, Kyo…I'm scared of loosing you…but…but…I want us to stay together!"_ I had screamed, my heart breaking as had I prepared for the worst. Prepared to try and survive...without Kyo...

But a miracle had happened.

He had changed back.

Cried with me.

Held me.

Just like he was doing now.

Only this time, **I** was the one being saved.

"Tohru?" he called, breaking me from my memories. I glanced up, and into his face, into those intense eyes that were overflowing with emotion. I was lost, entranced, bewildered...it was a dream...a dream Id had before...but those dreams? They all paled in comparison to THIS...the sunshine, the birds, the cherry blossoms...it was all REAL...and the realest thing about it was Kyo, sitting in front of me, smiling, his hands over mine. "Come back to me….and _stay with me_."

And he was leaning in, his hands on either side of my face, his eyes closing.

My heart danced in my chest.

My blood sang with happiness.

Tears of joy were running down my face.

He…

And then, very softly, our lips touched.

…loved me.

Kyo Sohma loved me.

**END CHAPTER 15**

YAY KYO! He's FINALLY BEING A MAN! A MAN!

So proud of the guy~~*sniffle*

It's like I'm the daddy and watching my child grow up!

**NOTE: I KNOW how the series REALLY ends, okay? I KNOW how they finally confess their love etc. I own ALL the manga and all the anime. So don't flame and yell "THIS IS NOT RIGHT"**

That's WHY it's a FANFICTION, guys. GEEZ.

OMG I HATED THIS CHAPTER

It was the very BANE of my existence.

Please review.

Next chapter is basically Kyo's side.

And don't worry, even though this MAY seem like a good ending point, it won't be :D

-Inulover411


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